Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Like an Anthem!


Posted to an Islamo-fascist website in the United Kingdom, this courageous call for Islamic freedom moves, touches and inspires the listener to work tirelessly for true submission to the Will of God in this Day, through acceptance of the organic Oneness of Mankind.

Listen now to "Anti-Jihadi!"


Karridine
(Pictured above, right: the world-reknowned
and award-winning terraces leading up from Haifa, to the final resting place of the mortal remains of The Bab, the 'One like unto the Son of Man' promised us by Jesus of Nazareth [Matt 24:14, Luke 21:24, Matt 24:15], atop Mount Zion on Mount Carmel, Israel, the Holy Land.)

the anti-jihadi:
Your overwhelming paranoia is rivaled only by your evil attempts at the deligitimization of, and slander towards Zionism itself. As long as crooked Muslim community leaders continue to resist the rights of the Jewish people to live a self-determined life in their religious and historic homeland.. in direct contradiction to the pre-revisionist/jihadist Koranic writings that openly declare this unalienable right of the Jewish people, I will continue to work and hope that sensible people within and without the Muslim world will continue to resist your extremist and hate-fueled ideological battle to reconquor what even the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) himself knew to be the rightful home of your ancestral Jewish brothers and sisters. I am only one person, I am connnected to no organization, I associate with no zionists.. but I am a seeker of justice and a tireless soldier against fascism, and I am proud to stand fearlessly against the onslaught of your corrupt ideals and multi-faceted jihad until the day your cruel agenda is vanquished in the true name of good vs. evil. I look forward to the day when peace and justice will rule even the muslim lands, when the power of the mullahs has been transfered to peace loving inhabitants of the Islamic world .. and when Islam itself renounces physical jihad and instead chooses, from within it's own emancipated populous, to co-exist peacefully with the Budhists, Hindus, Christians, Sikhs, Jews, Zorostarians, and other free peoples of this world. Until then, your movement will continually be stifled and stimied.. regardless of your illusions of grandeur.
You should be ashamed of yourselves!

As It Develops: Death Threats from Reuters



The on-going embarrassment of Reuters-London, wherein somebody used their equipment to send a death threat, reveals once again how difficult it will be (and continually IS) for Muslimoid humans to deal with the real world.

Although "Death Threat" doesn't lay it out explicitly, it is clear to any unbiased observer that the anti-Reason, anti-Rational forces and their mouthpieces, like Zark-Man and House Servant, live in a fantasy world where THEY are (or soon will be) supreme over all others, elite, untouchable and loved by God. Or loved by Allah, Arabic-for-God.

Because of their deep dependence on these fantasies, they have a vested interest in NOT accepting or recognizing Baha'u'llah as the Glory of God, the Manifestation of God (God Made Manifest) for THIS Day and Age, in no small part because He clearly enunciates the divine principle of the Oneness of Humankind: ALL humans are human.

Bunglawala, Zarqawi, UBL and Ahmadi-nejad DO NOT want to accept their basic humanity, and therefore MUST generate their personal fantasy, their personally-imagined world where they, and others they deem 'true Muslims', are the elite dominators of the world of humanity.

They issue Death Threats!


Karridine, June 1, 163BE

Update: 0755 BKK/1755 PST: This just posted at LGF, from the Muslim MPACUK of Britain:

"If you feel this is no big deal then you are on the wrong website, please re-direct your reading. If however you are shocked at the powerful nature of those who attack you, and are more angry at the incompetent nature of those who are currently supposed to be defending you then fund us, or join us. Together we can protect men like Inayat from the most powerful enemies Muslims have faced in a thousand years."

Uhm, no, this is NOT a threat to Islam, this is the FULFILLMENT of Islam, by the One Muhammad, THE PROPHET, PROPHESIED! He has come, and His coming threatens thugs and usurpers and tyrants of all shapes and sizes, who want to manipulate the ignorance of people around them. His Coming threatens and dissolves ancient creeds, institutions and those who defend or use them. His Coming proclaims the equality of men and women, and MPACUK (as well as Bunglawala and his ilk) HATE to think of men and women as being equal in the eyes of God!

A death-threat was sent by email to Charles Johnson, owner of the news-aggregation website Little Green Footballs. The electronic record, admissable in a court of law, shows that the threat was sent from someone using Reuters news-service’s equipment in London.

When Mr Johnson informed Reuters of the event, someone purporting to be ‘Ed Wilson’ responded that “…I can confirm that an employee has been suspended pending further investigation. The individual was not an employee of Reuters’ news division.”

The death threat, “…I look forward to the day when you pigs get your throats cut....” was standard, Islamo-fascist over-compensating machismo bravado, borne of years of impotence, but there it was, a death-threat nonetheless.

Then the website carried almost-daily updates on what the threatener, who called LGF “You bunch of wankers” was doing, prowling around the website, reading information primarily (and almost exclusively) about the Inayat Bunglawala embarrassment, wherein Bunglawala, British Council representative for Muslims, had some of HIS postings online elsewhere examined for veracity, relevance and coherency.

Bunglawala was generally and specifically spanked, embarrassed and refuted. He was exposed as a weak and clumsy thinker, much given to bluster, innuendo, ad hominem attacks and poor logic, all this atop of a basic ignorance of the way the world works, on the Internet.

A very recent post by a reader at LGF asks these pertinent, PUBLIC questions of Reuters and its ‘not an employee’ tool, Bunglawala:

What’s up with your deranged coworker?
Is it common practice for employees of your company to post death threats on blogs?
(Do you) Think it reflects negatively on you and your coworkers?
Anyone want to start a “not in my name” (anti death threats) group in your office?
Think anyone (from yr office) will join it?
Think the bosses will identify the author of the death threat and fire him/her?
Think they should (ID and or fire)?
In an age where cartoons can spark riots and murder all over the world, do you think death threats should be taken seriously?
BTW: Did you guys publish the cartoons?
If not, why not?
How would you respond if someone made an anonymous death threat against you?

Watch, now, as Reuters and Bunglawala publicly deal with their ignorance of and arrogant disregard for The Glory of God, Baha’u’llah, and His connection to Islam!

Auntie Sophia

(Cartoon courtesy of Ariat's Blog?)

If Ann Landers were alive today, SHE'd know what to do, and I daresay she'd advise this yoyo just like Auntie Sophia did!

Get a load of this 'Letter from SuperMax' to Auntie Sophia!


Aunt Sophia!


Karridine


Dear Aunt Sophie,

You should be flattered to know this is the first letter I have written since my arrival in this place they call Super-Max. (You Americans make everything sound like a bumper sticker. I particularly detest the FBI's disrespectful way of referring to the blessed Osama Bin Laden, may his soul not enter the company of martyrs before mine, as UBL. It makes him sound like an internet address.)

Of course you are wondering why my first letter is to you and not to my dear mother. The answer is both simple and complicated. Being a woman, my mother is unenlightened. Her heart is broken because she wanted me to go to Paradise, but at the same time she wanted me to live, and she pleaded for my life. So it is her fault that I am rotting in this hellish place where you will now support me until the end of my days. She does not deserve my first communication.

I wanted to die in a great conflagration, not strapped to a pallet. Besides, I'm terrified of needles. Since my first plan did not work, I had to be sure I would live long enough to find another way to become a glorious shahid. My mother will never be able to grasp how difficult it was to appear to seek death while all the time striving to avoid it during my trial. How could any woman appreciate the fine line I had to walk in that courtroom between trying to seem the equal of Mohammed Atta who lies with the dark-eyed ones, may Allah bless his memory, and an ordinary madman whom no spineless American would ever put to death? It was very difficult, let me tell you, especially for a philosopher like me who despises any display of emotion.

Worst of all, I could not call upon Allah to help me because it would have seemed that I wanted to avoid Paradise itself. No, I had to do it all alone, without the help of the Merciful and Compassionate One.

I had heard all about American jails - the weight rooms, the movies, the communal showers - and I thought as long as they didn't put me in Maricopa County my life would be bearable while I planned my next attempt to win the beautiful ones.

But this is hell. I'm sure of it. Somehow I got here without dying. I have no opportunity to teach Islam to anyone but the guards and they, may Satan eat their brains, do not seem interested. One of them calls me "Moose" because he is too lazy to pronounce my name. This is an insult. I do not know what moose is, but I am quite sure it is not halal.

I must have another trial. American trials aren't that bad. It's the prisons that are hell.

Shahid-in-Waiting,

Moussaoui

Dear Waiting,

I'm glad you're beginning to recognize the greatness of the American justice system. For one thing, it keeps vengeance out of the hands of the aggrieved. If it didn't, you'd have been rolled in lard before being hanged with barbed-wire.

Now that you have some quiet time you should try to develop a little appreciation for your accommodations. At various times in their lives most people must settle for accommodations not to their liking. If you'd actually boarded a plane instead of fantasizing about it, you'd have seen some two hundred people strapped into seats deliberately designed three inches narrower than the average pre-schooler's tush. But instead of whining about their accommodations like some weepy mama's boy, these people would have been calmly munching peanuts and watching a movie. Unlike these wretched souls, you're free to use the bathroom any time you want without having to wonder whether you'll be able to squeeze past the beverage cart, or whether you'll be told to sit down because of turbulence. In fact where you are, if you obey the rules, you will have a life completely free of turbulence.

Don't be too hard on your mother. Like you, she will have an adjustment period. Imagine how she must feel when she gets together with friends to play "Smite the Infidel" and her best boast about the children is that her son managed to avoid the ignominy of a lethal injection.

Remember your mother whenever you get that old itch to fly a 757 into a tall building. You should have listened when she suggested a career in airline security. You should have paid attention when she warned you not to cut classes dealing with such quotidian matters as take-offs and landings. But you, ever the romantic, head-strong scamp, had better ideas.

You coulda been a contender. As it is, you lose, Moose.

Good luck and God bless

(Tip of the Karridine Hat to Judith Weizner, FrontPage Magazine)

House Servant BungWallah Update:

This is a continuation of the Bunglawala posts, earlier:

House Servant!


Karridine

I bomb London,
I burn France
I have C4 underpants.
Are they pink or are they blue?
They're full of nails and aimed at you!

(Hat Tip: “PeaceKeeper”)

Bunglawala, crawfish pie and filay gumbo
cause tonight Im gonna see my macho-man-amio
Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-oh
Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the bayou

(Hat Tip: Zenbone)

Hooray!



Here's a story to warm your heart, from Atlanta.

Guy gets jumped by FIVE would-be robbers, one with a shotgun, and he puts one in the grave, one in the ICU and the other 3 in jail!

AND (wait for it!) NO CHARGES are filed against him, by the common-sense cops who realize he was only defending himself!

HOORAY!!


Karridine


ATLANTA -- Five would-be robbers picked the wrong victim in Midtown Atlanta last night and one of them paid with her life as the rest were humiliated and shown for the shameful, stupid thieves and thugs that robbers are!

The unidentified victim fought back excellently; killing one robber and wounding another. Three other suspects are in jail, not having much hopes of bail!

The victim was walking home after work as a waiter at Jocks and Jills.

The five suspects pulled up in a car and confronted the victim in the 500 block of Penn Street just before midnight.

The attackee began running down the street yelling for help. Residents who heard him called 911, which is good, thanks! While running, the victim pulled a pocket knife from his backpack and prepared to defend himself against 5 attackers.

Two of the idiots jumped from the car. When one of the robbers pointed a shotgun at him, the attackee kicked it out of his hands.

At that point two of the robber-morons jumped on the victim. During the struggle he stabbed both of them. One, a female, died of her wounds. The second is in critical condition, which will give him some time to think about the wisdom of robbing and bullying in general.

Police arrived on the scene and with a description of the car; they quickly arrested the three other suspects.

The man attacked, who is a former U.S. Marine, will not be charged since police say he was acting in self defense. Citizens of the Penn Street neighborhood are taking up a collection to give him a reward, but So far police have not released his name.

#30#

Talkin Kamel In With a Bullet!


This little playlet will be nonimated for the Emmy Award later this year, I'm sure! TalkinKamel has given us "Baldwin IV" (and it ain't no piano drip, neither!)

Give it a listen, and drop some Comments
as to quality, quantity and subject matter!


Baldwin IV, Mischief!
(Right-Click and Save as...)


Karridine


(A stage. Baldwin IV, the Leper King comes dancing onstage, with a troop of talking bananas, intelligent MuArae Spiders and michievous looking people wearing "I (HEART) ZIONISM!" T-shirts. Many of the latter look suprisingly lizardlike. All twirl canes and spin top hots, as they dance).

Baldwin: (singing)

If you're feeling blue, if you're feeling sad,
Don't just sit there when you’re feeling bad!
Methinks it's time for a bit of fun!
Zionist Mischief, everyone!

(All Sing)

Zionist Mischief, for one and all!
Zionist Mischief, heed the call!
Zionist Mischief is tons of fun,
Zionist Mischief for everyone!

Bananas (singing):

If your life is sad, and you need some zest,
Zionist mischief is the best!
Just head on out there, on the double,
Start stirrin' up some Zionist trouble!

(All Sing)

Zionist Mischief, for one and all! (etc.)

Lizardoid Zionists, in funny T-shirts (singing):

Oh, Zionist Mischief is really great,
Its loads of fun to do with your date,
Zionist Mischief is the best,
Come on! Be a mischievous Zi-oh-nest!

Oh, Zionist Mischief, blah, blah, and so forth.

Intelligent MuArae Spiders (singing while juggling Ginsu knives):

(*&*)&()*)(()*()
(*&*(^(&(&(&(&&*

(Okay, okay, Spider talk doesn't translate well into English! Baldwin IV performs a pole dance instead, while everybody else turns handsprings, and the mischievous bananas shed their peels in a strip tease, so people can trip on them!)

Monday, May 29, 2006

Scarred Borough Fears


The boroughs of New York were scarred November 11th, and paid a terrible fare to terrorism done in the name of religion.

Now JoKerr Enterprises brings you "Scarred Borough Fears", a short poignant examination of what we have to do to respond rationally to the irrational hatred, racism and thug-terrorism around us today:

Friends, "Scarred Borough Fears"
(with apologies to Simon and Garfunkle)

Karridine


What the enemy believes (Hussein Massawi)
We are not fighting so
that you will offer us
something.
We are fighting
to eliminate you.
Hussein Massawi

Scarred Boroughs’ Fears

Are they coming to wage Jihad here?
Subway bombs seem more than mere crime
Can we please put on our listening ears?
Might be the lesser evil in these times

Are they spreading their green banners here?
Hijack planes to change the skyline
We are so free, what have we to fear?
From closed societies’ cousin bloodlines

Will they switch to disposable phones?
After reading The New York Times
Was that “Aid and Comfort?” Am I alone?
In a Pinch, can you fathom the reason or rhyme?

When will we finally take off our gloves?
And defend our values sublime
The task’s not impossible; it’s one of love
More than posture at election time

Tunnels and bridges are well-engineered
Bedrock reached past layers of silt
But as elephant falls to small pointed spears
Large things are easier ruined than built

Extra! Extra! Come hither and read
Our news sources riddles with spies
We all know the saying that which bleeds does lead
And US black eyes make Pulitzer Prize


Freedom and fear are at war.
The advance of human freedom the great achievement of
our time, and the great hopes of all time now depends on us.

Our nation, this generation, will
lift a dark threat of violence
from our people and our future.
We will rally the world to
this cause by our efforts,
by our courage.
We will not tire,
we will not falter,
we will not fail. George Bush
9/20/2001

Copyright JoKerr Enterprises, May 30, 2006CE

UPDATE: Wednesday, May 31th- Scarred Borough Fares

Here's to the House Servant


A small, small sampling of the derisive reception given to the alleged big-talking, death-threatening Inayat Bunglawalah...

Short and sweet:

House Servant!
(Right-Click and Save as...)

Karridine
Our featured picture is: Aerobics for Arabics, Bung-Boy!

Dedicated to Bunglawala Inayat

I know a weenie man
He owns a weenie stand
He sells most anything from hot dogs on down down down down
One day I'll change his life
I'll be his weenie wife
Hot dog! I love that weenie man!

I married the weenie man
We moved to Weenie Land
We had two weenie kids who blew up the cat, POP!
They went to weenie jail
We paid a weenie bail
Hot dog! Those weenie kids are bad!

As always when dealing with Islamofascist machismo bluster, I wouldn't overlook the possibility that this poor chap has unresolved sexual identity problems.

Look !
Up in the sky !
It's a bird !
It's a plane !
It's Blathering Titted Weenie-Man !

All your tits are belong us!

/Islam will never defeat the titted infidels!

Yo, Mr. Anonymous Remailer - is it true that you were so ugly when you were born that the doctor slapped your mother?


He was afraid to post his own little number
He was as terroristic as he could be
He realized that we woke from a slumber, and
He wanted all of us to see
One, two, three, four, Mr. No-One we want more,

You are an itsy, bitsy, teenie, weenie, blathering titted little thingy ♪♪♪

Lacking the courage of a dying piss-ant (2-3-4, stick around, we’ll rank some more!)

Yo, Mr. Anonymous Remailer, Your mother is so dumb, she jumped out the window and fell UP.

Yo, Anonymous Jihadi!

Question: What's the difference between your sister and a camel?

Answer: About 25 pounds.

Once again, for the general enlightenment:

"Bunglawala:" a combination of two Hindi words. "Bungala," or "house" (from which the word "bungalow" is derived), and "wallah," meaning someone who is in charge of a particular duty or service.

Bunglawala = house servant.

I keep hearing the whine from the end of the first half of "Gone With the Wind;" "Who's gwine milk dat cow, Miz Scarlett? We's house servants."

If Bunglawala attended one of the "public" (i.e., private) schools in England where fagging is still practiced, it must have been...difficult for him to serve as a fag while bearing the patrynomic of "house servant"--particularly since a) it is routine in such establishments to refer to fellow students by their last names, and b) there is probably still sufficient Anglo-Indian tradition alive in the UK for people to know full well what his patronym means.

One can only imagine the personal issues/demons he acquired from such an experience, and how he is working through them at the expense of the larger society.

“You are a blathering titted weenie-man."

I keep hearing that line delivered by Hans & Franz.

'...Islam cannot lose.'

That's your best insult? "Titted weenie-man?" Dude, I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.”

There’s more, much more of this off-handed, casual disparagement of an emotionally crippled young Muslimoid loser, but I’m calling it a day. This is karridine@bsws.b.com

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Countdown of the Memes! Week May 21-28

Well, here you go with this week's most popular memes and whines, from around the world!

Countdown of the Memes, May 29th

and last week's:

Countdown of the Memes, May 20th
(Right-Click and Save as...)


Karridine

Remember to email your Meme-of-the-Week suggestions to:
Karridine-at-gmail.com

Countdown-May 29, 2006 Common Era

Welcome to this week’s Maelstrom of the Memes!

where I count down the world’s Top 10 Memes and Whines, from the Left, the Right, the Center, the Top and the Bottom of the world!

Leading off in the Number 10 position, we have last week’s #6, “I have a right to abort, no matter WHAT the consequences!”

Number Nine this week is a newcomer to the Charts, “What if Jesus was actually telling the TRUTH about the One, like unto the Son of Man, coming in 1844?” Keep your eye on this one, its in with a bullet. Actually, 750 bullets!

Number Eight this week is the Illegal Alien song, “Borders? We don’ need no steenkin’ borders!” down two from last week.

Number Seven this week is another newcomer, “the Country-Western channel’s logo is worse than the Ice-Cream Swirl of Blasphemy!”, a parody of the ever-popular, “We are gonna whine and seethe, bitch and moan, sneer and riot!”

In the Number Six position, “Thugs!” (Thugs, we are thugs and kill you like thugs and we fight for the right to enslave you!)

Holding steady in the Number Five position, the Apologists’ Creed singing “Give me designer chains, or give me euthanasia!”, a sly take-off of Patrick Henry’s famous dictum!

Sliding to Number 4 this week is “Can’t we blame this on Bush?”, down one point from last week,

While the Number Three position is up 11 from last week, “This Civil War Is KILLING Us!” by the Jordyptian Tabernacle Choir and Hamas/Fatah Rivalry!

Jockeying for Number One is this week’s runner up, in the Second most popular meme position, last week’s Number One, “God Loves Us Muslims More Than Any Other Humans!”

And this week’s Number One, moving up one from last week, “Its ALL the FAULT of the JEWS and Baha’is!”

Well, there you have it, Kasey Karridine’s Kritical Kountdown of the Top Ten Memes from around the world, in The Maelstrom of Memes! This is Karridine at Brain Surgery with Spoons, dot blogspot dot com, for May 29th, 2006 CE.


CW Channel's New Logo: Fatwa Rising!


There it is, looking just like the Dreaded Ice-Cream Swirl of Satan! Don't the dimmies EVER learn? Don't the people in the West respect Muslims enough to STOP creating racist, hateful logos like this? Can't you be politically correct once in a while?

This is sure to provoke a fatwa! What would John Fogerty say?

Fatwa Rising!
(Right-Click and Save as...)

Karridine

For the Country Western channel and its CW logo;

Apologies to John Fogerty

I see a new fatwa rising

I see riots on the way

I see embassies a’stonin’

I see good times far away

-Chorus-

Don’t look to the Light

We’re sworn to take your life!

There’s a fatwa on your eyes!

Mullahs and imams all a-blowing

Fanning the hatred to a swoon

Racist bigotry we’re sowing

We are the voice of ragin’ ruin

-Chorus-

Hope you are ready to surrender,

Know you are not prepared to die

Cartoons are ‘freedom’ with Great Satan

Koran says Freedom is a lie!

-Chorus-

Saturday, May 27, 2006

What's It All About?


A recent commenter, GWB, asked about the 12th Imam and how we could know whether Ahmadi-nejad is speaking truth or not.

Here is a clarifying link:

Definition!


Karridine
(Start with paragraph 3.)

Friday, May 26, 2006

Inayat Bunglawala


Posting from the presumed safety of an al-Reuters account in London, somebody with little real knowledge and even less common sense sent DEATH THREATS to a good man in America, and now faces an embarrassing public house-cleaning at Reuters AND probable police action.

Speech may be free, but EXPERIENCING THE EFFECTS of our free speech is STILL, AS ALWAYS, part and parcel of speech. That's the 'spirit' part of 'spiritual'... our words seem to be frail and nearly effortless, but they trigger effects and actions in others, and WE must GET the effects of our words (cf. 'Dixie Chicks/censorship')

This is a little earworm about Inayat Bunglawala:

Inayat!
(Right Click and Save as...)

Its very short, and in fact its SO SHORT that it really cries out for added verses, so as of this posting, we're having a contest to see who can write, craft or create the best verses, stanzas and additional singalong bits for this; by midnite PST; and the winner(s) get their verses recorded, appended to these starter verses, and posted online about 5 hours from now!

Get on it! Send a message to the privileged chattering chipmonkeys of the world, or send a message to Reuters! Comment and conquer!

Karridine

UPDATE: 0815: This post found online from "Jinn & Tonic" :
"Bunghole is also gay (homosexual, Ed.). You will occasionally find him drunk as an infidel in the Kudos bar, Charing Cross, London.

A total fucking evil hypocrite."

Thursday, May 25, 2006

1-900-Reality!



If you like IowaHawk, and you want to learn about BushCo's impending impeachment and execution by firing squad, dial 1-900-REA-LITY now!

Or listen for yourself:

1-900-REALITY
(Right Click and Save as...)


Karridine

The Following is a Paid Reality-Based Message

ANNOUNCER
Are you bored? Sitting at home alone, scouring basic cable news for impeachment updates? Well now you don’t have to wait for the 3 am rerun of Keith Olbermann for the hottest, juiciest, blockbuster scandals that will finally bring down the illegitimate BushCo cabal! Because now there’s 1-900-REALITY!

BREATHY FEMALE ANNOUNCER
1-900-REALITY…

ANNOUNCER
Call now and join our reality-based party! Provocative leakers are standing by to give you an earful of shocking facts, just the way you like them… hot, heavy, and weeks ahead of the news cycle!

BREATHY FEMALE ANNOUNCER
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For just $5.95 and $1.95 per minute, you’ll be connected with one of our information insiders who is aching to fulfill your every fantasy of governmental overthrow!

MARY
Hi, I’m Mary. Dial extension CBS and let me show you my private collection of shocking Texas Air National Guard documents. Stay on the line and I’ll show you how I can do things with Microsoft Word that Bill Gates never dreamed of!

ANNOUNCER
Aww yeah fellas, Mary can get her kern on – all night long!

EASON
I’m Eason and I can’t wait to tell you the dirty, dirty things I saw American soldiers do to innocent journalists. Call me at extension CNN and I’ll stimulate your outrage to a boil!

BREATHY FEMALE ANNOUNCER
We like it hot…

ANNOUNCER
Whether you’re turned on by Plamegate or Abramoff or Jeff Gannon, our one-on-one scandal consultants will give you a the inside scoop that will bring you and America to a climax of righteous indignation! Did somebody say ‘Katrina’?

KATIE
Hi, I’m Katie. I was just a curious morning show host before I went to New Orleans, but what I saw at the Superdome will make your voter population rise up – all the way up! Call me at extension NBC and I will report it to you over and over again…

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mmm… 1-900-REALITY…

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JASON
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BREATHY FEMALE ANNOUNCER
ooooh… coming indictments…

ANNOUNCER
Still not hot enough for you?

PINCH
Hi, I’m Pinch. Call me at extension NYT and I’ll tell you the shocking details of the freaky NSA peeping toms who are listening into your every phone call. Call in the next 10 minutes and I’ll throw in extra news about the throbbing insurgency that has Iraq on the verge of civil war!

BREATHY FEMALE ANNOUNCER
Aaahhh… ever growing insurgency…

ANNOUNCER
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MICAH
Hi, I’m Micah.

JESSE
And I’m Jesse.

MICAH AND JESSE
And we’ve been naughty, naughty Rangers! (giggling)

JESSE
Call us now and we’ll tell you the shocking details of how we tools of imperialism enjoy torturing innocent civilians. When this news gets out, your country will explode in a violent impeachment!

ANNOUNCER
What are you waiting for? Don’t let another news cycle pass. Call 1-900-REALITY now and let our hot wet truth tellers get your hopes up -- over and over and over again!

BREATHY FEMALE ANNOUNCER
1-900-REALITY… our truth is really out there.

(Above script written in toto by Dave Burge of IowaHawk; reproduced with permission and full attribution.)

Bush Vows to Make Some Changes!


Mr Bush has been widely criticized for his
'Global War On Terror', so we're proud to post the President's response to these informed, intelligent, patriotic, well-thought and highly erudite criticisms:

There'll Be Some Changes Made!
(Right Click and Save as...)

Karridine

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

May 23rd, 1844


This date, May 23rd, is celebrated every year, around the world, by the millions who believe that Jesus told the truth, and meant it when He promised that 'One, like unto the Son of Man' would come to humanity at the time that:
1) the 'Abomination of Desolation' prophecy, given by Daniel and scheduled to run out after a 2,300-year wait, in 1844 actually ran out in 1844; and
2) the 'Times of the Gentiles' were ended, at the signing of the Edict of Toleration, allowing the Jews to repatriate the Holy Land because the Diaspora was ended; and
3) the Gospel was first taken to every nation as a witness, by Spirit-filled Christians, in the spring of 1844.

This date is celebrated because Jesus was right, 3 out of 3, and He alone knew that the Holy One, like unto the Son of Man, would come that year, and when the Holy One came May 23, 1844, and was recognized and adored by the first human to bow the knee before Him, the Day of God began, and the long-promised Day of Judgement began.

May 23, 1844 (yes, feel free to Google it!) was the day when the first public demonstration of the telegraph ushered in a new era of electronic communication, and the world was soon swamped by a sea of knowledge! May 23, 1844 also marks the day that the eldest son of the Lord of Hosts was born, "just coincidentally", soon to accompany his father into exile and imprisonment at the hands of a cruel and unbelieving clergy!

This day, at 2 hours and 11 minutes after sunset, a pure-hearted student realized, without being told, in Whose presence he was, and prostrated himself before the John-the-Baptist preparing the way for the Lord of Hosts; Whose coming:
-ended 7,000 years of rule by kings and ecclesiastics,
-over a humankind imprisoned by ignorance,
-kept from reading by the very priests entrusted with protecting the Sacred Scriptures.
-released power into the world of humankind, and
Whose coming began this New World, based on
+ the one-ness of God
+ the one-ness of God's revealed religion
+ the one-ness of humanity, and

the equality of men and women,
the necessity for the harmonizing of science and religion,
the obligation for the independent investigation of truth
and the reality of each human's responsibility for one's own actions, before the Lord, God Almighty!

What a GREAT Day!
May 23, 1844!

Jessie "The Truth, Dude!" MacBeth


Well, Jessie (or is it Jesse? or Bessie?) MacBeth and his enablers and handlers have been smacked down right seriously with a couple of Clue-by-Fours, wielded by all kinds of people, not the least of whom is IowaHawk, who recorded this Guest Post by Jessie "The Truth Dude" MacBeth, infamous whistle-blower who scooped even the New York Times off his shoes when he gave an interview revealing that America's armed troops in Iraq are systematically, callously and with malice aforethought slaughtering civilians, bayonetting babies and littering!

Hear for yourself!

Jesse Dude!
(Right Click and Save as...)

Karridine

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Pencil-Neck as Lying Poser!


It took less than 30 hours to demolish the stuttering, pencil-necked hyper-decorated buffoon who tried to trick leftists, rationalists and libertarians alike with his vile, spit-on-America's-troops accusations of civilian butchery as pro forma policy in Iraq and Afghanistan!

(No offence to pencil-necked geeks, sorry he looks so seriously weak... and as someone noted, he took a close hit from a wrinkle-bomb!)

Within hours, this maroon had removed all internet notification of his absurd 'medals' and 'decorations'; Dept of the Army had publicly reported, "No such person EVER served, Ranger or Special Forces or even Army;" and a few hours later, even the yoyo's profile at Military.com was rescinded, erased without fanfare, now accessible only by the records made by competent people at various sites around the world, who want the message to get out:

We're living in a New Era, an age of accountability and easy fact-checking!

So here it is, short and sweet:

Jesse MacBeth!

(Right-Click and Save as...)

Karridine

Jesse MacBeth

Jessie MacBeth was a whimpering git
Who wanted to be a man
“If they can all b-be rangers,
Then anyb-b-body can!”

A useful idiot!’ Peace Films cried,
and a vidiot was born,
sleeves rolled up
beret set out, on
locks quite neatly shorn

“I-in Iraq I b-b-butchered kids
and innocents b-by the score
We’d kill the babes in mothers’ arms
And- W-wait, don’t go, there’s more!”

But round the world
The ones with sight
Called Jessie at his bluff
The whimpering git
Erased his ‘medals’, then cried
Hold, enough!”

And now he knows how Saddam felt
Cringeing in a hole
Praying justice pass him by
Hoping we’ll forget his lie
Pleas to God “Forget my lie,
I S-so regret my role!”

Bessie wanted to be a man
And wear a public crown
But just like Kerry
Truth came out, and
Showed Bessie MacBeth a c-clown!

Monday, May 22, 2006

"Letter to Iran"


This 'as-yet-unreal' letter from Mr Bush to Ahmadi-Netjahb is a tremendous comeback, and my hat-tip to Michael Ledeen (through LGF, d'accords):

Letter to Iran!
(Right-Click and Save as...)

Karridine


Dear President Ahmadinejad,

Please forgive this tardy response to your letter of early May. We did not reply at first because we doubted the letter’s authenticity. We suspected that someone was trying to play a trick on you. The discourse, you must admit, is unusual for a communication between heads of state. However, now that you have openly admitted that the letter is yours, I will respond.

Thank you for your invitation to accept Islam. As you know, I am a Christian. Throughout your letter you accuse me of being a bad Christian, which leaves me puzzled as to why you think I might make a good Muslim. However, before you proselytize outside your own country, you might want to address the condition of the Islamic faith in Iran.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that so many Iranians, especially the young, have lost their faith because of their profound disillusionment with theocratic clerical rule. Apparently, there is no way for them to distinguish between their religion and your rule. That is understandable since you claim there is none, that your authority comes directly from God and you are ruling in his name. It is no wonder you disdain “liberalism and Western style democracy.” Under it, you would be answerable not only to God, but to the Iranian people, to whom God gave certain “unalienable Rights” that you and the mullahs have chosen to ignore. How ironic that, in the name of God, you deny your people’s God-given rights.

When young Iranians survey the way in which the clerical regime has enriched itself and impoverished the country, and enforced its rule with such harshness, what are they to think of this “God” who rules over them in this way? As a result, they abandon their religion and, unfortunately, many turn to drugs.

Your answer to the abuses under which the Iranian people live is nuclear “power.” Since your country is so richly endowed in oil and natural gas reserves, this is a strange answer. In fact, you so often denounce “lies” in your letter, I am surprised you would engage in such a whopper yourself. No country has conducted a 20-year clandestine program to develop nuclear power for peaceful domestic uses. The reason is that it is perfectly legal to do so in the open. In fact, we would support your nuclear power program, if that is what it was. However, as everyone outside of Cuba, Syria and Belarus knows, you are developing nuclear weapons.

You know that we know you are doing this. In fact, you deliberately exacerbate the free world’s worries with your continued exhortations about wiping Israel off the map. I understand that your policy of confrontation helps you to consolidate your domestic power and that is why you generate so much tension. The more likely you can make it seem that Iran will be attacked from the West, the more Iranians will rally around you. You provoke us. We respond. You get stronger. Since the Iranian people will soon realize we have no intention of attacking them, they will soon weary of this artificial hysteria and begin to wonder why your government fails to provide even the most basic necessities.

We also understand the real reason you want nuclear weapons. Of course, you have the dream of being the regional hegemon, and the prospect of your having nuclear weapons already terrifies your neighbors. But you also want them for the same reason as North Korea. Once you possess nuclear weapons, you believe you will be immune, as North Korea thinks it is, from external pressure for domestic political reform. You can tell the world to take a hike and to leave you in peace to oppress your own people. This is why Iranians who wish to see a return to genuine democratic, constitutional order despair at the thought of your succeeding. They know they will be finished, that no one will then dare speak up on their behalf.

So this is not really about nuclear weapons; it is about the rights of the Iranian people – your desire to take them away, and our desire to see them respected. We don’t worry about Great Britain, or France, or now India, having nuclear weapons, because they are democracies; they are founded on the “unalienable Rights” of their peoples. People who are free to exercise those rights seldom seek to take them from others. We, and the rest of the world, are worried because of the nature of your regime, because you deny you own people its rights. Therefore, we take you seriously when you say you will take rights from others – most especially their unalienable right to life – by “wiping them off the map,” and we see you seeking to obtain the means to do this.

We do not think the Iranian people are going to let you get away with this. They see their religion prostituted to power and their great culture traduced by fanatic ideologues. We are on their side.

Hey, thanks for writing.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush

P.S. I attach a copy of the Declaration of Independence.

#30#

Isamophobia Examined: #1


Some thoughts about Islamophobia, this first being is it IS, or is it AIN'T?

Islamophobia, May 21st
(Right Click and Save as...)

Karridine


Islamophobia #1

-ring!-

Hello? Yes Ma’am, I am VERY concerned about Muslim thugs killing my friends, loved ones-

What? You consider me Islamophobic?

You ACCUSE me of Islamophobia? And that’s… bad?

Uh-hunh… uh-huh…

Well, Ma’am… Ma’am? Thank you. Thank you for bringing up this charge of Islamophobia, since you know that science defines a phobic response as an involuntary fear response of the body, overwhelming in character, with identifying signs including non-consciously controlled sweating of the palms, shallow breathing, vascular constriction in the skin, dilation of the pupils or pin-pointing of the pupils, and raised bloodpressure.

Are we together here?

And you, Madame, can clearly hear that I am NOT breathing in a shallow manner, my voice is not nearing a scream or totally silenced with fear, and I’m holding the phone easily with dry palms and fingers, wouldn’t you agree?

But IF you mean that I recognize the murderous intent and efforts of SOME of the Muslims to dominate me, subjugate me, or kill me, then you’re accusing me of being rational and competent in my observations, and I proudly acknowledg-

What? Well, same to you, Lady!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

4 Thugs Start A Party!


From ar-Reuters today comes this report of four Jordyptian thugs going to meet Allah, not quite in the manner and time of their choosing.

And where there's an explosive death, there's a "CAR SWARM!" of dozens of thrill seekers, souvenir hunters and Jordyptian idiots milling around the wreck.

Join Ahmad and Mahmoud now, as they support their local

Car Swarm!
(Right-Click and Save as...)


Karridine

-Car Swarm!-

-ring!-

‘Allo! … Hae, Ahmad! Howza hammer hangin?

No, Mahmoud’s out today, didn’t you hear?

Isray-eelis Defense Force sent missile and blew up one of our Mercedes-Benzes!

Yeah, we have no money, poor us, whimper whine… but even worse, Ahmad, wat was IN the Banz? Four thinking thugs, top terrorists, jihad generals, KA-Blooooey! Blasted to mince-meats, splinters, bite-size pieces conveniently-

What? Oh, sorry. Anyway, you know what this means… CAR SWARM!

Bring your kids and family (except the women, they must remain chained at home) and Come On Down!

Join the Swarm of Jobless Jeehadi Jordyptians as we mill around the remains, rubberneck the wreck, shout imprecations, pose for the cameras and snatch souvenirs!

You did? His WHAT? (laughs) Well, HE won’t be needing it any more!

No, I’ve collected 2 hands, a chunk of scalp (with hair) and an eyeball! I’m making a report to the UN to counter the lies and propaganda calling us ghouls!

Yes, enough of this chit-chatter, Ahmad! Meet me at the Car Swarm!

-Karridine, BrainSurgeryWithSpunes.blogspot.com May 21, 2006 CE
#30#

Wacky Week's Work: May 13-20


For your listening pleasure, these are the week's top picks, from May 13 to 20:

#1: Its in the Koran!

#2: Sheiku!

#3: Global Islamic Media Person -> GIMP!

#4: Aloha Snackbar, Resort to Violence!

#5: Save Nazanin!
(most important!)


#6: Hirsi Ali's Fight!

#7: Zarqawi, Waiting for the Blow to Fall!

#8: Gaza Picnic Fun!

#9: Estrogen!

#10: Leaving on a Jihad Plane!

#Another: Scoff & Deny, Its a Damnable Heresy!

#Another: "Prof" Bennish's Pop Quiz!

#Another: 'Dick' Rather, Private Eyebulb


Til next week,

Karridine
Kerri-catured in a self-portrait up there!

Guano-tanamo Blues


After the non-uniformed, extra-legal combatants were picked up, interred at Guantanamo Bay facilities, and decided yesterday to smear their floor with feces, urine and other slippery stuff in order to help them LURE guards in on a pretext of stopping one of them from suiciding; then attacking the guards when they sought to act compassionately, Joe Denver was moved to write this song lamenting some of the detainees being shipped back to their country of origin:

Leaving on a Jihad Plane!
(Right Click and Save as...)

Karridine

Leaving on a Jihad Plane
Joe Denver
all their bags were packed, they were ready to go
to mecca, there to worship Mo
from my cellblock I couldn’t say goodbye
but the guards my stones break every morn
and sleep deprive me with a horn
i'm ready
i'm so seething i could die.

so hang me, break out with me
tell me that you'll die with me
hold me like a bomb belt, then we’ll blow
'cause they’re leaving on a jet plane
to go and fight jihad again
oh, Allah, we’ll miss them so

there's so many times my guard was down
left notes we passed laying around
told my interrogators every thing
every place i went, and was told to do
every time I tried to bomb my shoe
I should have just let that goddamn cell phone ring

so hide me and lie for me
tell me that you'll die for me
hold me like a bomb belt, then we’ll blow
they left us on a jet plane
to go and fight jihad again
Why should THEY be allowed to go?

now the time has come, here’s what ya do:
just pretend that you are killing you
we’ve got our home-made weapons, by the way
dream about the days to come
when Guantanamo won’t be our home
when Americans must pray 5 times a day

I’ll hang me, then fight for we
the guards I’m gonna bait for we
hold me like a bomb belt, then we’ll blow
'cause they left us, on the jihad plane
to go and fight Jihad again
oh, damn, why is this so?

they’re leaving us, on the jihad plane
to go and fight the West again
oh, babe, why can’t we go?
for the sake of Mo

Friday, May 19, 2006

To Hirsi Ali


Hirsi Ali, courageously raising a call throughout the world, of the alarming (and objectively verifiable) outrages being forced upon Muslim women by misogynist, ignorant and arrogant Muslim men, has just made it through an official attempt by Verdonk of the Dutch legal system, to strip Hirsi Ali of her Dutch citizenship, ostensibly for falsifying her entrance papers, even though that was publicly acknowledged by Ali more than 3 years ago!

So here's to Hirsi Ali, some praise and encouragement. (And, truth be told, a grudging 'Good on ya' for Verdonk, for reversing her direction upon learning of the strong public support for Ali)

Hirsi Ali!

Karridine


At the battle of Verdun the French did say, of their foe

"They shall not pass!"

In the Battle of Verdonk it seems to be, of the Prophet

"You shall not sass!"

One does not critique the Prophet

or of religion laugh

But if ever she marries, we know of the pair

Hirsi'll be the better "half"

To escape a dishonest ‘marriage’ for life, to Holland

She did fly

And later truthfully did declare, on her papers

She wrote a lie

Just to cling to some truth

And justice it seems

God LOVES laughter

And Hirsi her dreams

Now Verdonk has tasted both courage and fear, so frightful

But does not last

And public opinion has bolstered her spine, “Hirsi stays,

I’ll let it pass…”

Hirsi did not critique the Prophet

It’s the followers she flays

And bright in the stellar skies of the truth

Courageous, for all of her days!

Don't Whine for Me, Abu Mazen


The powerless, toothless and tarnished Abu Mazen, quasi-leader of the Hamas-Fatah debacle in the toxic squat outside Israel in the Holy Land, has begged with a US Federal judge to reverse a lower-court decision to hold him responsible for death and damage done by Hamas-Fatah thugs and terrorists.

So he loads up his slop bucket and delivers a steaming heap of whine!

Here's a melodic response:
Don't Whine for Me, Abu Mazen!
(Right Click and enSlave as...)

Karridine


You’ll all be queasy, we are deranged
When I tell you the joy that I feel
That I’m so loathesome after all that I’ve done
You’ll believe me
All you see is a terrorist its true
Although we’re dressed up in fine suits

In bloodshed and murder with you

Tried not to let it happen, I wouldn’t change
Had to stay all my life down like a heel
Firing out of the window, slaying out in the sun
So I chose hatred
Shooting around, trying everything new
But nothing improved me at all
I never expected it to

Don’t whine for me Abu Mazen
The truth is, you seldom speak it
And from your history
No more a mystery
You worship Violence!
And now you wreak it!

And as for fortune, and as for fame
I sucked on these teats whenever I could
For it seems to the world they were all I desire
No more illusions
They're not the solutions to the problem I see
The answer was here all the time
I’ll kill Jews until we are freeeeee

Twist in the wind Mr Mazen
The HAMAS, it will not FATAH
And FATAH further
Doth love to murder
Its HAMAS brothers,
for power brazen!

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do is get downwind
To know that every word is true

#30#

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Let the Fun Begin!


For all you Gaza-watchers and Jordyptian splodeydope well-wishers, we have a public service announcement for the Big Exciting Effort, beginning today, May 19th!


Gaza Picnic Public Service Announcement!
(Right Click and Save as...)


Karridine


Don't miss the first annual Gaza militant picnic.
Place: Qassam firing range. Contests and prizes for all Islamo-barbarians. But you have to be present in one piece to be eligible.

Contests:
- Burqa sack race.
- Car swarm treasure hunt.
- Cat Tractor rides (Courtesy St. Pancake Carnival Enterprises, Inc.)
- Arts & Crafts tent, offering make-your-own Hamas battle scarf/face mask; evil Zionist rub-on tattoos; victimhood sign painting. (Hat tip: Lazarus)
- Hand painting (blood red only).
- Fence climbing and tunnel crawling marathon.
- Bomb assembly race (can you finish without a "work accident"?).
- Shoot your AK-47 straight up in the air contest; compete with others to see who can hit themself on the way down).

Prizes:
- 1ST PRIZE: Bomb belts for the whole family.
- 2ND PRIZE: Israeli flag, gasoline, and matches.
- 3RD PRIZE: Jihad, the board game. Now you can play at home!

#30#

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Save Nazanin! NO LAUGHING MATTER!



A teenager, who defended herself against THREE rapists, is sentenced to die by hanging if the Iranian Supreme Court doesn't change the 'guilty' verdict against Nazanin!


If YOU believe there's something unjust about punishing victims, and have the courage and a few moments to DO SOMETHING about it, listen for details:

Save Nazanin!
(its only one megabyte...)


And if you want to click through right now, here's the Petition site:
http://www.PetitionOnline.com/Nazanin/

Karridine
You still help by sending this MP3 to friends and family!

-ring!-

Hello, Brain Surgery With Spoons-

Yes? Uh-huh…

Whats her name? Spell that… N a z a n i n… got it.

So, what’s the story… she’s 17… in the park with her neice… 3 punks come over… her male friends run away… the thugs push her to the ground and start raping her… but she gets out a knife and defends herself…

WHAT!? WHAT?

And I suppose that under Iranian law if she lies back and lets them rape her, its called ‘Extra-Marital Sex’ and she must be punished with 50 lashes-

A HUNDRED? ONE HUNDRED LASHES for being RAPED? In PUBLIC, in a park? Oh, it gets worse? How?

Uh-huh… rapist dies, so the court found HER guilty of self-def MURDER? MURDER?! Defending herself? And the Iranian ‘court of law’ twisted it into murder?

So now her case is going to the Iranian Supreme Court for review, and if the guilty verdict is upheld, that’s it, she gets hung by the neck until dead!

Gracious God! What a grievous miscarriage of justice! Where’s the Universal House of Justice when you need it? In Haifa?

So, what can I do to help Nazanin?

  • Help spreading the story about Nazanin, NOW, QUICKLY! Tell everyone you know, family, friends and others who might be interested. Direct them to this web page and ask them to take action for Nazanin.
  • http://save.nazanin.googlepages.com/home
  • Contact newspapers, TV-channels, blogs and other media and ask them to report this story. US residents can contact local or national media via NOW.org
  • Write about Nazanin in your own blog, homepage, or in internet forums or chat rooms you frequent.
  • Put a link to this page in your email signature or at your homepage.
    New: Put one of these banners on your website.
  • Write the Iranian government or the Iranian embassy of your country , and demand that Nazanin`s death sentence is commuted immediately. Read more
  • Contact politicians/representatives and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in your country and ask them to pressure Iran to commute the death sentence and free Nazanin. US representatives can be contacted via NOW.org.
  • Contact the United Nations Office of Human Rights on this email-address and ask them to protest.
    You can also contact them via this page.
  • Sign and spread this petition, started by the Canadian model Nazanin Afshin-Jam.
  • Buy a T-shirt in support of Nazanin, designed by Lily Mazahery

This is NO LAUGHING MATTER! Think for a moment how YOU would feel, if you were attacked, and then sentenced to death for protecting yourself and your 16-year-old niece!

Send this MP3 to friends and family… NOW! Attach it to emails and get it out there! Then visit the Save Nazanin website and sign the petition! Please, in the name of justice and compassion, this is Karridine at Brain Surgery With Spoons dot blogspot dot com, May 18, 2006 CE

#30#
Karridine.