When you GOTTA leave the delicate niceties for a moment, and CARVE OUT a new job, a new life or your parietal lobe! Scraping extremism off the memes of today, one spoon at a time!
MP3 recordings: parodies, satires and serious!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Jose Padilla, Lotus-Eating Victim of PCP!
Pity poor Jose Padilla, who claims to have been 'force-fed' LSD to be used as 'truth serum'...
Here's the take by Rootless Cosmo, but the only person I could get to record it was Freebide Hoofner, refugee from Woodstock-2002, and I'm afraid he ate too much of the brown blotter...
This is a very interesting question. With respect to cats, the Q’ran in Surah 12:45.1(c) states that, “the cat always lands on its paws.” However, Surah 3.14e-9 says that “pita bread always lands hummus-side down.”
Of course, the crafty infidel will see this as a contradiction: what if a believer were to glue a hummus-laden pita to the back of a cat, and hurl it from the local prayer tower? No matter how it hits the ground, the crafty infidel will say it invalidates Q’ranic infallibility! This is where the meat comes in. The key is to first put the uncovered meat between the cat and the pita, in a sort of cat-meat-pita sandwich. As it plummets from the tower, the cat will eat through the glue to get at the delicious uncovered meat, thereby freeing the pita to land hummus side down, and the meat-refreshed cat to land happily on its paws. In this way you may demonstrate to the crafty kuffar the eternal perfection of the sacred Word of Allah, as revealed through His Prophet (peace be unto him). Also, if the crafty kuffar is an uncovered woman, don’t forget to rape her.
Imram M. of Jumbuck Springs, Victoria asks:
I am a taxi driver at the Melbourne Airport. The Taxi Directorate tells me I must give rides to blind kuffars and their filthy guide dogs, even when I tell him they are haram in the eyes of Allah! Even worse, I think the kuffars and their dogs have been drinking alcohol. Help me, I am at my wit’s end.
Sadly the dog-alcohol cootie issue has been a sore point for the many believers who work at the airport. We have long asked the Airport authority to exempt Muslim baggage handlers from touching luggage containing alcohol, and protect Muslim passengers from having contact with unclean bomb-sniffing dogs. Until we can correct this blatant discrimination, politely tell any fares who are potentially carrying alcohol or dogs that you will rape them.
Ameer Ali of Kangalangaroombawoomba, ACT writes:
As a member of Prime Minister Howard’s Muslim advisory board, I have occasion to travel. When I go abroad, they ask me where do I come from? I say I come from a Muslim country. “Which country,” they say. “Australia.” “That’s not a Muslim country.” “Yes it’s Muslim country.” “Is not!” “Is so.” “Nuh uh.” “YUH huh.” and so on. Then they say, okay then why aren’t you stoning all the drunks and homosexuals? Yow, I have to admit that’s a stumper. I tell them that we want a country that is like a fruit salad, not a mega-fruit juice, with alcohol and such. That way we can enventually start eliminating all the unsavory fruits from the salad until Australia is totally halal and delicious.
When I come back to Australia, I’ll suggest the stoning thing to the Prime Minister, and he just gives me a weird look and tells me to respect Australian values, and goes back to drinking his beer. Now I am all confused.
Of course Australia is a Muslim country! Explain to the doubters you meet that Australian aborigines were practicing Islam for 100,000 years before the infidel James Cook corrupted the holy land by introducing in Fosters and Footy and bikinis and AC/DC. Explain that it will take years of work to drive the infidel yobbos from our traditional holy cities like Perth and Surfside. Explain that, God willing, and if our dole checques don’t get cut, we will restore the ancient Pacific caliphate from Freemantle to Las Vegas. If the doubters persist in their wanton doubtery, apply corrective raping.
The good folk at Lightstalkers set up their blog/forum to automatically validate and authenticate bona fide posters, and to send bona fide posters email notifications of sequellae and follow-on to their posts.
“Sorry I don’t deal with people who are not willing to publicly state their indentities and agendas. Otherwise I would also be perpetuating false information.” Says Lisa H.
(I can see it now… “Before I go through this checkout line, you, the cashier, must publicly state your identity and your agenda. Not having an agenda is absolutely disallowed. You may not claim to be the well-wisher of all humankind, and you may NOT refuse to make a declaration! Get on with it!”)
“…I can only assume that since you are unable or unwilling to provide your bona- fides…” when in fact I provided my ‘bona fides’ right there, in-thread, suggesting that my bona fide ability to read the whole thread was all I was asserting. I would be responsible for assessing the posts as they were, regardless of WHO was posting them, inasmuch as ‘appeal to authority’ holds little relevance in online discourse.
What that ‘authority’ POSTS is important. Whether or not the poster has won prizes is relevant to a CV, or a job application, but posting at Lightstockers, like posting at ANY OTHER online endeavor, requires that the readers/posters stay with the facts or arguments presented and THEIR relevance, accuracy or verisimilitude, NOT with whether or not the poster has a degree in photo-journalism, f’rinstance…
I posted this link (EU Referendum) as an example of ‘thorough investigation, and even-handed reporting’ but the good folks there dismissed it with a sniff and a wave of their rhetorical hands: “
“I bet Tyler Hicks has laughed himself hoarse at all this angsty hysteria. That or he is too busy working to have time or care about all this BS because he has to get out and make a living.” Well, sure, making a living selling true and accurate pictures of people faking injuries for propaganda purposes… that was Eyal’s question from the first, weren’t it?
“I declare this thread invalid…”
“So Eris IDysnomia is more than happy to intimidate people from behind another Greek principle – the Pseudonym…which seems to be par for the course on this thread.
Classy, real classy.” (INTIMIDATED)
Like, you’re gonna destroy someone’s career?” Shucks, no… the person who published the photo as if it were a valid news photo set that process in motion, destroying his own career. Us plebians just noticed it, s’all.
Zion continues: “Ya know, I’d have a whole lot more respect for these laptop warriors if they could actually front up under their own names – and of course their free speech argument would have some validity, instead of being a shabby cover for cowardice, intimidation and blackmail.”
“Eyal, you are really rude guy as far as I am concerned, no I really do believe that. You ignored all good suggestions in the begining and then came acrross with lots of same and unpleasant questions.” QuoteOcean, who admits that the questions were unpleasant, and were asked again and again in a legitimate effort to get them answered by the Prime Source, Tyler Hicks.
Now for all you other slow folk in the listening audience, the posters at Lightstocker perceived these questions as “unpleasant” and the asking of them as “intimidating” and “scurrilous”, the equivalent of “cowardice, intimidation and blackmail.”
Methinks they doth protest too much. In fact, the continued denial, obfuscation and delegitimizing of concerned humans investigating the truth about Tyler’s photos, especially in light of Tyler’s continued absence of clarification of the PHOTO, instead of the Caption, opens the door to contemplation of the MOTIVES driving these good folk to put up so much verbiage in defense of Tyler’s PHOTO, which shouldn’t NEED DEFENDING…
So I’ll conclude this short podcast-essay with an assessment by another analyst, who uses his bona fide real name, Martin Solomon, at Solomonia:
“But enough about the picture, because that's not what this posting is about. I'm not here to tell you about photos, I'm here to tell you about photographers -- their delusions, their insularity, their siege mentality, their guild consciousness, their omerta... and their hatred for blogs (and bloggers!) and any of their fellows who dare step out of line.”
Photo-journalist Tyler Hicks STILL has a great opportunity to answer questions about his "Pieta" photo at the LightStalkers' blog. Not questions about the captioning of the photo, simply technical questions about how far the 'injured' person fell, where he fell from, how he was able (while falling) to get his feet into such a bizarre and inaccessible position. (Tyler might be able to address the Magic Hat issue, too, where the "victim's" hat suddenly appears under his elbow, but this detail is not germane to the issue, except peripherally!)
For your entertainment, analysis from an ongoing thread at Lightstalkers blog:
Gayle (Gayle F. Hegland, poster on the Tyler Photo Clarification thread at Lightstalkers blog)
You wrote “It is up to individuals … to determine what types of questions are appropriate”
Fair enough maybe you can help me:
Is it OK to ask where exactly this person fell from?
Can I ask for photos of this place and of the scene in general (I already have a large collection) ?
Is it OK to ask how come his left leg is one side of a metal structure and the right leg is on the other side ? (keeping in mind that his fall is described from above and from “considerable height”)
Is is OK to ask how come while falling from “considerable height” his leg got into a location closed from all sides (including from above) by the structure and wire mesh ?
If it is not OK to ask these questions I will not ask them.
Is it OK to ask why in a different photo of that person the dark side appears too dark and when the photo is lightened there is something that appears as a notebook case that he may be carrying? (note: I am not sure what is going on in that photo but I think it is fair to ask for clarifications)
Is it OK to ask for more photographic evidence from that scene ? Especially photos of a person that appears dead but turned out to be very much alive?
IS it OK to ask if a photo of a 'victim carried out of a bombed building' is the correct news reporting photo to attach to a building that was empty when bombed ? (Was the building indeed empty? I think so but want to hear from Tyler.)
Is it OK to ask if the bombed building was empty?
Is it OK to ask for more information so that we, as photographers discuss the editorial issues raised by transmitting this photo?
Is it OK to ask how is it to work in Hizballah-controlled territory ? Was there any attempt in scene manipulation that was detected (not that scene on which the facts are not yet clear but other scenes)?
If it is not OK to ask these questions than you are right I should not be asking them at all.
PS surely you notice I already know not to ask about the hat.
“And some people – like you – keep falsely tarring photographer Tyler Hicks as a liar, by repeatedly calling his integrity into question over this issue.” –which Eyal NEVER does, and actually bends over backward to avoid doing, by action, inaction or implication!
He asks questions about the PHOTO, and is accused of attacking the PHOTOGRAPHER, accused of promoting Israel, accused of trolling, accused of willful ignorance and naivety, accused of willful distortion…
Such as that practiced by one of Eyal’s accusers, thusly: “Are you also saying now that to fall and knock yourself out, you need to fall from some great height? or some specific height? Or a height higher than where the photographer is standing?”
The Eyal-accuser (or Tyler-defender) makes it clear that Eyal asking about height is a perversion, and yet Tyler is the one who introduced the issue when HE stated, “…one man fell from a considerable height onto his back and was seriously injured.”
Appealing to authority (Tyler’s good character) is invoked to serve as an answer to questions about the height of his fall, his supposed injuries, the method whereby his legs got into a visible-in-the photo extremely unlikely situation…
Read it for yourself.
Tyler’s cohorts and others repeatedly, day after day, week after week, seek to delegitimize the questions, begin attacking the questioners and imagining wonderful scenarios AS IF they were there, while ignoring Eyal’s continued reminders that “Tyler WAS there, his camera WAS there, and Tyler can bring light to these questions!”
By October 16, the ad hominem attacks are becoming clear AND repeated, because Eyal’s questions have NEVER BEEN ADDRESSED by Tyler, OR posters at the site!
“None of us can answer your question and I can’t believe this isn’t obvious to you by now. You’re getting absolutely nowhere except under a lot of people’s skin.” Then have Tyler answer the questions, PLEASE!
Who was it famously said, “Beat it, Boy, you bother me!”(WC Fields)
“As someone who really believes in the power and responsibility of photojournalism, this makes me sick. Tyler Hicks especially pisses me off. I used to look up to him, I’ve heard him speak at photojournalism conferences. If I heard him speak again I would have to confront him about that sequence of pictures. It’s not even believable, it’s so faked it’s ridiculous. It hurts because 98% of the journalists out there have integrity and honor. But because of these—-holes who are greedy for that award winning picture and too lazy to do the work to make it honestly; people generalize and label all journalists as frauds.”
Posted at LightStalkers, Friday Oct 20 at , but immediately dismissed as “…silly talk like this…”
Solomon says, “But enough about the picture, because that's not what this posting is about. I'm not here to tell you about photos, I'm here to tell you about photographers -- their delusions, their insularity, their siege mentality, their guild consciousness, their omerta... and their hatred for blogs (and bloggers!) and any of their fellows who dare step out of line.”
An omerta is an oath of silence, particularly about Insider Secrets, and Ayer unwittingly violated the photo-journalists’ omerta, in this case.
But this is an ongoing event, on a live thread as of , Bangkok time, with -Signoff
With its ratings in the sewer, CNN must think that nothing can hurt it now, so it airs Islamanazi propaganda showing Allied soldiers being shot by thug snipers... and asks for comments, as if it were providing some kind of NEWS service!
What CNN will show: Abu Ghraib photos, American soldiers' coffins, 25 war protesters when they claim they will have thousands, more Abu Ghraib photos, videos of jihadists picking off American soldiers, enemy propaganda, a running death toll of Americans in Iraq eagerly awaiting the next thousand mark, Sheehan, and on and on.
What CNN will not show: 9/11 footage or photos, the running death toll of jihadists, ANY continuous footage of the riots from France or anywhere else in Europe, any tapes from MEMRI, Muhammad cartoons, jihadist beheading of innocent people (even journalists), the thousands of successes of our troops in Iraq, and on and on.
We all know whose side they are on. Whores of the Caliphate; all.
They are so blinded by their hatred of one man that they have sold their souls to the death cult of radical Islam.
Tip of the Karridine Kepi to Junior, posting at LGF
Signoff: October 20, in celebration of the Birth of the Bab, the 'One, like unto the Son of Man...' promised and prophecied by Jesus of Nazareth, in Whom can be seen 'the Righteousness that is Christ'.
When the Alan Rickmans of this world try to convince us of the inherent goodness of dupes like Rachel Corrie, it is good to see people take a principled stand reminding all of WHO Corrie actually was, in her anti-American, pro-terrorist efforts! (More at Kesher Talk)
An Open Letter to the Conservative-American Community by Dr. Howard Dean Chairman, Democratic National Committee
Dear Valued Potential Customer:
As the leader of one of America’s premier political parties, I know firsthand the importance of building bridges to the various communities and constituencies we serve. Unfortunately, when serving as many diverse communities as we do at the DNC, sometimes an important relationship can inadvertently fall through the cracks. Frankly, I realize we have not always brought our “A Game” when it comes to the concerns of conservative-Americans. That’s why we would like to take this opportunity to start a dialog with you, the conservative “values voter,” by addressing an issue of vital importance to all of us — the growing Republican homo menace.
Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, we Democrats know what issues are on the minds of heartland conservatives like you. We know that your number one concern of is the safety of your children — whether they are plucking their banjos on the back porch, speaking tongues to snakes at Jesus Camp, or torching crosses at your local Nascar racing contest. We also know that the number one threat to your children’s safety is the scourge of international homo-ism. That’s why we at the DNC have created “The Contract With American Hillbillies,” a new multipoint investigation program to identify and root out conservative stealth homoism before it threatens you or your precious little inbreeds.
What we have found so far has been shocking. You may have already read the disgusting story of Mark Foley, the Florida Republican gay pervert congressman who spent night after night on the godless internet discussing unnatural sex acts and interior decoration with innocent underaged pages. And now our investigators have learned that Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig is less interested in Boise than he is in “boy-sies.” Now that his sickening secret is out, the good conservative folks of Idaho can send this pansy packing to San Francisco where he can be Potato Queen in the the next pride parade.
Sadly, though, this is just the tip of the GOP gayberg.
LOS ANGELES - The charge of treason was used for the first time in the United States’ war on terrorism Wednesday, filed against a California man who voluntarily appeared in propaganda videos for helping al-Qaida.
Adam Yehiye Gadahn, 28, could be sentenced to death if convicted of the charge, which has been used only a few dozen times in U.S. history and not at all since the World War II era. He also was indicted on a charge of providing material support to terrorists.
Gadahn “knowingly adhered to an enemy of the United States, namely, al-Qaida, and gave al-Qaida aid and comfort ... with intent to betray the United States,” according to the indictment, handed up by an OrangeCounty grand jury.
This is good news for Americans, BAD NEWS for other traitorous fifth-columnists and anti-American agitators in our midst! And-
Announcement of Glorious Nuclear Achievement to Gangster Stooges of Blogosphere
Glorious Launch of the People
In the back yard of scientific researchings behind the Great Storage Shed of the People, Iowahawk scientists successfully conducted above-ground nuclear missile test explosions under secure and many malt liquor conditions on early hours of October 10, 2006, at a stirring time when alarm clocks of the neighborhood have yet to clangle. To the impotent yappings of the neighboring gangster devils, Iowahawk responds: howl away, bourgeois traitors of Lakewood Mobile Home Court! Your pitious lamentations and cowardly 911-callings will never stop Iowahawk from the great leap forward into great and powerful prosperity, using his mighty quiver of nuclear-tipped cherry bombs and fully-fissionable bottle rockets for peaceful unity purposes!
Nuclear glowstick payload
Let it now be known that testings were conducted with indigenous wisdom and technology 100 percent. The Central Defense Committee of Iowahawk, Chuck, and Julio are to be congratulated for their ingenious creation of nuclear defense technology from glow-lite sticks and high-quality Missouri fireworks. Also to be honored is Chuck's ex-wife Rhonda, who drove the Central Defense Committee to Missouri to obtain firework materials, low-price smokes and PowerBall tickets.
Chuck: scientific hero of Lakewood Mobile Home Court
It can also be confirmed that there was no such danger as radioactive emission or finger-loss in the course of the testing as it was carried out under scrutinous scientific consideration and careful calculation, and with one of those long-tipped Bic fireplace lighters. Also to insure safety, it was more than one hour after the Central Defense Committee's last round of scientific bong hits.
Scientific analysis reveals that the historic launch was conducted with pinpoint accuracy and flawless execution, resulting a glorious fireball as it streaked across the access road into county maintenance truck. Mark this official forewarning, Cedar County Highway Maintenance: half-life isotope calculations by Chuck indicate the truck will be unsafe for usage until next Wednesday, and Iowahawk cannot be liable for mutations of your foolish crews!
Rockets of peaceful stability
This marks a historic event as it greatly encouraged and pleased Iowahawk and the many patriotic peoples of Lakewood Mobile Home Park that have wished him to have powerful self-reliant defense capability and a prosperous refrigerator stocked in Olde English 800s. It is unsurpassed in glory and its praises will be sung by the children for a thousand years! Well, obviously not the same children, for the entire thousand years, because those first children would eventually grow up and be dead after 100 years, 110 years tops. I'm assuming there would be probably some sort of gradual rotation system to add fresh singing children.
The aim of the Iowahawk nuclear fireworks program is clear: to contribute to defending the peace and stability all about the blogosphere, and the area around it, if the blogosphere knows what is good for it. And what is good for blogosphere is also clear: more linky-linky for Iowahawk.
For too long the bellicose aggressors of international blog "A list" gangstery -- Instapundit, Blair, NRO, LGF, Ace of Spades, Hewitt, Malkin, Taranto, Allah, and their running-blog puppet lackeys -- have sabotaged progress, prosperity and page views of Iowahawk and the developing blogosphere by denying him rightful links and tip jar revenues. Be on notice, the day of your comeuppance has finally up-come, for today we possess the tools to thwart your frantic and silly attempts to stifle us!
Link to this post now, or be dealt a thousand-time blow of fresh nuclear Missouri M-80 retaliation! All imperialist stooge traitors of TypePad and Blogger and WordPress must now bow down before the greatness of Iowahawk and his merciless arsenal of peaceful stabilty rockets. Our diplomatic peace demands are clear: Send or suffer consequences
One thousand trackbacks
10 million pageviews
50 cases of OE 800
Take heed, blackhearted reactionaries of international blog non-linking, for this is your final warning! All those who foolishly refuse to contribute to peaceful blogospheric cooperation through trackbackery will taste the hot sting of Iowahawk's radioactive weapons of singlehearted unity!
This just in! David Zucker has produced an ad for Americans, accurately depicting Democrat efforts at making nice with our world’s thugs and tyrants, and the Republicans see it as too accurate to run on TV!
In the ad, Zucker, producer of SCARY MOVIE 4, recreates former Clinton Secretary of State Madeleine Albright's 2000 visit to North Korea. During the visit, Secretary Albright presented North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il with a basketball autographed by former NBA superstar Michael Jordan.
An actress playing Secretary Albright is shown presenting Kim Jong Il with the Michael Jordan basketball, painting the walls of Osama bin Laden's Afghanistan cave and turning a blind eye to suicide bombers. In one scene her skirt rips as she changes the tire of a Middle Eastern dictator's limousine.
One GOP strategist said "jaws dropped" when the ad was first viewed. "Nobody could believe Zucker thought any political organization could use this ad. It makes a point, but it's way over the top."
Zucker is the producer and director of comedies such as "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun." In 2004, Zucker, a longtime Democrat, embraced the Republican Party based on concerns he had about national security issues and voted for President George W. Bush.
A "faith" of unassailable superiority, coupled with promises of heavenly riches for those who but mouth the words, pump out the kids, rub noses at the mosque and give something back to the mullahs ... works well among the illiterate, the impoverished, the "ordinary" folk of the Fringe. I mean just think about it!
You're told your state-of-impoverishment is due to no failing, inadequacy, lack-of-gumption or insobriety of your own EXCEPT that you are in infidel, and the greater Satans of the infidels keep you down, nose to the dirt, until you die in poverty and strife. So, you need only tip your noodle a half dozen times a day in the general direction of Mecca, recite some unintelligible mantras, and you'll be saved.
Further, once "In The Club", your natural adopted superiority can be flaunted over everyone who you perceive impoverishes or oppresses you in any way. You get instant superiority-gratification when your sons and daughters duly insist that their future brides and husbands need to convert to The Club in order to secure a long life of carnal pleasures and happiness. You can decry all other religions and beliefs as deeply inferior to your own - precisely because you really do not and shall never really understand your "faith's" convoluted, self-negating, confused ("mad") and angry tenets.
You're happy being a rube, because to be a Rube is the high-point of the Teaching of the Rubes. And you can be righteous, proud in your rubbish religion. You're right, damn it, because your prophet said you're right, and even if you're wrong, so long as you're working within the framework of being right, you're still right. See?
Pretty compelling, when coupled with the aggrandized notion of only achieving peace on earth by overtaking the whole of the planet. How bloody convenient! "You're not happy, even though you're now a Rublem because of EVERYone else who hasn't converted. It is, has, and will be their fault. They must convert or die. Go forth with knife and talisman, and conquer!"
The Rubes rightfully cite their strength as evidenced by their numbers. Millions! Billions! Yes, indeed. Billions upon billions of people who mistake "acting" as superior to "thinking", who mistake "righteous conformity" to the superior position of dialectic, discourse and logis. Oh, the "Imams" and "Mullahs" are the bright ones of course - they're the few that can actually memorize the whole Quran, and can recite its pithy parts on demand. But it is the usual bargain, isn't it?
How long I wonder before the State Department is overrun by the masses? Already most West Coast magazines and newspapers, video and radio media are apologists or even advocates for the Muslim's Rights (and vocal reminders of their slight-if-any oppressions).
How long, before the bargain is struck in this Democracy? I believe the answer lies in simply observing 'As Britain Goes'...