Thursday, August 31, 2006

Sock-Puppet Redux:


For those who don't appreciate the sneering, smearing and mendacious ways of sock-puppetry, here are some recordings dedicated to Sock-Puppeteers:

We're NOT Sockpuppets, Am I?

Gleen Grenwald

"Dick" Rather



Karridine


and

NOT Karridine

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Recent Requests: Top Five and Then Some

Most requested and down:

+ Its In the Koran!

+ Global Islamic Media Person

+ 1-900-REALITY

+ My Dawg Dogs Muslims!

+ Fauxhole

Aloha Snackbar

+ Mr GreenHelmet-Bozangles

(Right-click on any of the above, and "Save as...")


Karridine
Don't see YOUR favorite? Comment here, to tell me of my obvious shortcomings...

For the more musically inclined:



Tuesday, August 29, 2006

My Dawg's Nose: Fearsome Weapon of Truth!


Tip of the Karridine Kepi to Babbazee, for co-authoring and inspiring this rhythmic chant in praise of the Dawg and His Nose:

My Dawg! 243k
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Karridine
Graphic: NOT my dawgs... B. L. Zebub's dogs...

My dog’s nose got 25 djinns
25 djinns
25 djinns
mah dawgs nose it got
25 djinns

that defile the muslim male!

Mah dog Zion got 55 djinns
55 djinns
55 djinns
My dog Zion got 55 djinns

Zionist djinns nevah fail!
Defile that muslim male!
Ahhhh-OOOOOoOOoOOOoOOOOOO

Sloppy-wet nose and wagging tale

So many djinns

So many djinns

Nosey tale got too many djinns

For the manly Muslim male

Can’t stand the friendly tail

Such a macho, manly Muslim male!

Ahhhh-OOOOOoOOoOOOoOOOOOO

(Karridine Kepi to BabbaZee)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Nasrallah Talks to The Big Guy


Nasrallah, self-appointed oppressor of Hizbollah, Lebanese and Israelis in, around or even NEAR Lebanon, got a phone call earlier today. (Hat Tip to Udi, at Nasrallah's Blog)

And he got quite an earful:


Nasrallah Gets A Call From The Big Guy! 285K
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Karridine
Graphic: State of the Union:

Nasr’allah In Prayer

-ring!-

You have reach-ed Glorious, Brilliant and Humble Nasr-

“Listen carefully, I have good news…”

You? Y- You’re talking? To ME?

“LISTEN…”

Oh, sorry. Shutting up.

“You have a problem… with Israel…”

Yes…

“You want to SOLVE that problem…”

Yes!

“Turn to the Holy One, promised by ALL the Prophets of old…”

What?

“He came in the year ‘time, times, half-a-time’… 1260AH…”

Who?

“The Glory of God… Baha’u’llah

You mean that ‘Justice for all’ and ‘Men & Women equal’ and ‘All humans have equal rights and responsibilities Guy?

“Yes!”

(long suspicious pause)

Who is this, really? Because I am NOT going to give up my power as an imam for ANY ‘Lord of Hosts’ even if He is TRUE Messenger from God!

‘Well, in THAT case, let’s get to the business of killing as many Jews and kffirs as possible…’

(signoff)

Monday, August 21, 2006

Bush Apologizes to Saudis: Next Friday's Speech!


We've received an advance copy of President Bush's "Apology to the Saudis" speech, scheduled for Friday the 25th.

Its a winner!

Bush Apologizes! 425k
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Karridine



President Bush Apologizes to Saudis:

-ring!-

You’ve got Michael G., “Speeches Are Us!”

Yessir, Mr President, I’ve got your Saudi Apology here, just the way you wanted it: Short, Punchy and American, so you can use it day after tomorrow!

Sir? Now, over the phone? All right, Mr President, here goes:

My fellow Americans, the Saudi government has demanded (unofficially) an apology, so on behalf of all Americans, I offer this apology to the Saudi people.

We in America apologize for your repressive, narrow-minded, intolerant and covertly murderous government. America didn’t put it there, but its nasty nevertheless.

We apologize for your government’s official policy of gender apartheid, and the terrible sexual maladjustment that results from that. You deserve better.

We apologize for the industrial-strength theft of the Saudi peoples’ national wealth, transferred daily to the pockets of a few thousand princes and their wholly-prince-owned corporations, at your expense.

We apologize for your government’s efforts to keep you ignorant, biased, prejudiced and controllable. The self-proclaimed imams and mullahs cling to power like a piglet sucks the mother-pigs teat… in a manner of speaking.

And finally, we apologize for your government’s habitual policy of persecuting Jews, Christians and Baha’is, while telling you at the same time that YOU are God-fearing people.

As for the attack on Tehran, that was in response to years of Iranian threats, Iran’s proven efforts to acquire and mass-produce nuclear weapons, Iran’s public, official anti-Semitic/anti-Jew and anti-American declarations, not just for the Iranian government’s abusive treatment of Baha’is. In any event, we don’t apologize for the large, glowing, green-glass parking-lots where Iran’s nuclear facilities used to be.

Please take this into account as you welcome our ambassadors tomorrow, to work out a lasting peace, with justice for all.

Thank you. Reported by BSWS.blogspot.com Aug 21

Sunday, August 20, 2006

No More "Mister Nice-Guy!"


Tip of the Karridine Kepi to Raymond S. Kraft, for his excellent short essay, Terrorism, included below.

A surgeon may hate to cut through living, healthy tissue to expose a pocket of pus-filled, poisonous and deadly exudate, but IF HE WANTS THE HUMAN TO LIVE, he cuts through it anyway IN ORDER TO SAVE THE PATIENT'S LIFE!

Terrorism! RSKraft 342k
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Karridine

Terrorism Raymond S. Kraft
August 17, 2006

War has morphed, indeed, in ways unimaginable fifty years ago.

The Islamic Resistance Movement (IRM), the Jihad, which includes Al Qaeda, Hamas, Hezbollah, and all other like-minded folk, is much smarter about it than we are. It has turned the civility of the
US, and Europe, into a weapon and turned it against us. It has weaponized niceness, it has weaponized compassion, it has weaponized the fundamental decency of Western Civilization. It has weaponized our desire for peace. It has recognized that our goodness is no match for its savagery, and will continue to exploit that fact until we lose and they win. However long it takes. Centuries, generations, decades, years, months.

The soft underbelly of America in particular and Western Civilization in general is that it has become so excessively nice and decent and civilized that it is now loathe to rise to its own self-defense, loathe to kill civilians when necessary, loath to cause "collateral damages," loathe to fight and defeat other countries, even when its own survival is at stake. We have emasculated our will to rise to our own defense, to the defense of our interests, to the defense of our friends and allies, to the defense of our own civilization and its unique freedoms. We would rather die than kill. We are willing to martyr ourselves and our children and their children and our country to the conceit of our own goodness. We have spent sixty years obsessing (as a culture, as a nation) with whether we might have done the wrong thing by nuking Hiroshima and Nagasaki, even if it did end World War II, even if it did save a million American casualties and maybe five or ten or twenty million Japanese casualties . . . the nuclear annihilation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki might well have saved Japan from extinction, since if the Japanese had all fought to the death as they promised and threatened to do there wouldn't have been enough Japanese left to be Japan anymore, so that, in a perverse way, Japan may now owe its existence to America's willingness to nuke Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

We can't imagine ourselves nuking
Hiroshima or Nagasaki, or firebombing Dresden or Tokyo anymore, killing scores of thousands of civilians in the process, or laying waste to Beirut, or Damascus, or Tehran. We're way too nice for all that, now. We have become much more civilized.

"This Strategic Philosophy is very clearly articulated in The Management of Savagery, translated from the Arabic, which can be readily found on the internet via any good search engine. While America wants peace, and recoils from the projection of deliberate savagery, the Islamic Resistance Movement embraces and adopts savagery, 'managed savagery,' as its primary militant tactic, calculating, correctly, so far, that America, which wants to be nice and doesn't really want to hurt anybody, will never respond with equal or greater force, or savagery."

So the Jihadis hide in plain sight among the civilians, and thumb their noses and say "Check!" And we are stuck harassing their pawns because we lack the will to topple their knights and bishops, kings and queens, with all the "collateral damage" that would happen in the process. We can't imagine ourselves nuking Beirut, or Damascus, or Tehran, not even to save the world from the Islamic Resistance Movement, the Jihad of puritanical Islamic Naziism. So far, we can't even imagine ourselves deconstructing the infrastructure and economies of Syria and Iran in the way Israel is presently deconstructing Lebanon to save ourselves from the Jihad.

The Islamic Resistance Movement, the Jihad of puritanical Islamic Nazism, is strategically very intelligent - it has calculated that although it lacks the massed military force to confront the United States directly in battle, by The Management of Savagery it can foment endless incidents of terrorism and theaters of seemingly inexhaustible savagery in many places all over the world, year after year, decade after decade, until the Americans, Aussies, and Brits, are worn down, exhausted, demoralized, and no longer have the political will to keep trying to defend Western Civilization from the savages. At that point the IRM can begin to take things over with little objection or resistance, since they will promise peace - PEACE - the peace America is psychologically and politically obsessive about. They will offer peace with the right hand, an end to the savagery they have created with the left. And after years or decades of widespread savagery, peace will be welcomed. The price for peace, of course, will be an Islamic Empire, an empire in which the unique freedoms of Western Civilization, intellectual freedom, religious freedom, political freedom, freedom of speech and freedom of the press, will not exist, an empire in which one can be anything one wishes to be, as long as it is Muslim.

Today, we see this strategic philosophy at work in Iraq, in Lebanon, in Sudan, in Somalia, and its gestation in Venezuela, where Hugo Chavez is arming against an American threat that does not exist, in order to turn Venezuela into a hostile camp calculated to pull America into a military intervention to prevent the destabilization of South America, a strategic calculation intended to force America's military and economic overextension, and therefore America's weakening, with the assistance of Russia, China, and the Islamic Resistance Movement.

This Strategic Philosophy is very clearly articulated in The Management of Savagery, translated from the Arabic, which can be readily found on the internet via any good search engine. While America wants peace, and recoils from the projection of deliberate savagery, the Islamic Resistance Movement embraces and adopts savagery, "managed savagery," as its primary militant tactic, calculating, correctly, so far, that America, which wants to be nice and doesn't really want to hurt anybody, will never respond with equal or greater force, or savagery. Thus, it calculates, Islam can easily withstand the pulled punches
America is willing to throw, while America will eventually succumb to the never-ending managed savagery of militant Islam. Unfortunately, America does not appear to have a Strategic Philosophy, and therefore, the IRM accurately calculates, while America does not want to lose this war, America, blinded by the conceit of its own goodness to the ruthless malevolence of others, does not understand this war, and therefore lacks the will, the clear vision, and the decisiveness to win it.

The Chinese and the Russians do not want to fight a war with
America, not openly and directly, they would get hurt too badly, no matter who "won," and they do not need to. They want a reasonably prosperous and productive America to sell stuff to, and buy stuff from, but they would be hugely pleased to see America cut down to size a bit, or a lot, an America that was a No. 3 Semi-Super Power, after China and Russia, or Russia and China, in either order, or maybe No. 4 after China, Russia, and the New Islamic Caliphate. They would like to see an America that is about as much a threat to anybody as the European Union is now, so the Chinese and Russians can run the global show as they see fit, ration the oil, and pocket the profits.

Thus, they are perfectly happy to sell weapons to Hezbollah, calculating that the Hezbos & Friends will do the dirty work for them, will maintain a generation of savagery all over the world (except in Russia and China), and that America will exhaust itself, its politics, its will and economy, trying to "control" and contain the savagery, but lacking the will and strategic vision to root out its roots, because that would cause way too many civilian casualties, and America cannot stomach the infliction of civilian casualties, or the destruction of nations, even if they are sponsors of terror. We're way too nice for all that. And so our "niceness" is turned and weaponized against us. We have become too civilized to defeat our enemies, perhaps too civilized to survive. The dagger of our decency stabs us in the back.

We've been sucker punched, but we set ourselves up for it, and we won't admit it. We actually think that Hezbollah, Hamas, Al Qaeda, the whole Islamic Resistance Movement, the whole Jihad, is a bunch of "non-state actors." Technically, but only theoretically, they are. In form, but not in substance. In real life they're rather conspicuously the agents and co-conspirators of nation states (Iran, Syria, Lebanon, Russia, China, North Korea, at least) that want to deflate America without having an open war with America, and have figured out that as long as they can send in the street soldiers of the Muslim Mafia to do the dirty work we will do everything we can to avoid a real war with the real Godfathers. We love peace too much. And it's working. Perfectly.

In the law of agency, the Principle is liable for the acts and omissions of his Agent. The Employer (principle) is liable for the acts and omissions of his Employee (agent), at least within the course and scope of the employment, at least within the scope of the intended purposes and objectives of the agency. The Conspirator is liable for the acts of his Co-Conspirator, at least within the scope of the objectives of the conspiracy. Thus, applying this basic principle of agency and conspiracy to geopolitics, we should be holding Iran, Syria, Lebanon, Russia, China, and North Korea, who are providing weapons to the Jihad with which to attack Israel and America and the new Iraqi democracy, and providing safe havens and money and technical assistance for the Islamic Resistance Movement, responsible for the acts and omissions of their agents, Hamas, Hezbollah, Al Qaeda, et al., but we lack the intellectual and strategic clarity, and the political will, to do so.

We insist on indulging our fine little fantasy that "nation states" are, ipso facto, somehow legitimate, and should not be attacked, much less destroyed, not even on the floor of the United Nations General Assembly by John Bolton, not even when they engage in a criminal conspiracy with the terrorists of the Islamic Resistance Movement to obliterate Israel and divide, demoralize, deplete, defeat, deflate and desiccate America.

Israel is doing a little better than we are, at last, and we should follow the Israeli example, as far as it goes, and then go the rest of the way. We will have to, sooner or later, unless we intend to acquiesce to the vastly diminished role in the world our enemies have planned for us. We should do so sooner, before the Jihad gets nuclear weapons, rather than later, after it has them, when the price of defeating the Jihad, in dollars and blood, ours and theirs, will go up by several orders of magnitude.

A good start would be to give short notice to
Iran and Syria that we expect the terrorism, in Iraq and everywhere else, to end, NOW. They've been hospitable to the Islamic Resistance Movement, the IRM, the Jihad, they support it, they arm it, they give it safe haven, and it's time to stop to it. Lob that ball back into THEIR court. So, they have, say, a week, two weeks, ten days, to shut it down. No more. After that, if there is an Islamic terrorist attack ANYWHERE ON EARTH we start rolling up the carpet on Iran and Syria (while Israel continues to dismantle Lebanon) - i.e., hold Iran and Syria hostage to American terror, just as they are now holding the US hostage to Islamic terror.

Except we do not hold them hostage to random terror, as they do - WE GIVE THEM CONTROL - if they end Islamic terrorism, then they have nothing more to fear from us. If they do not end Islamic terrorism, then they have everything to fear. And if the terrorism does not stop on schedule, then we start taking apart the armed forces, infrastructure, and economies, of Syria and Iran, piece by piece, using all necessary and convenient force, until the terrorism stops and they surrender, unconditionally, as Germany and Japan once did.
So far, because they understand that we do not yet fully understand this war, and will not do what is necessary to win it, they do not fear us.

Now, Russia and China want to be on the winning side of things in ten years when the dust settles, so they are selling weapons to the IRM, Hamas, Hezbollah, Al Qaeda, Iran, betting that America will not wake up and smell the coffee, and will not develop the intellectual, strategic, or moral clarity to recognize that it is dying a death of a thousand cuts, until long after it's too late to save the patient, or the victim. So far,
Russia and China are betting on the right horse.

And so as the political will of America to save itself slowly (or quickly) expires, we will see, in our lifetimes, maybe within the next few election cycles, or the next few years, a New World Order emerge, not the one American conspiracy theorists fear, but a far more deadly and malevolent one in which a new Islamic Caliphate, a new Islamic Empire, rises as a strutting puppet of the new superpowers, Russia and China, with America relegated to geopolitical inconsequence, vying with the geopolitically inconsequential European Union for a distant fourth or fifth place in the pecking order.

Russia and China will not be overrun by the Islamic Resistance Movement, since they do not have our qualms about collateral damages, civilian casualties, nor our obsession with being "nice." They do not have our pathological desire to be liked by everyone. They do not fancy themselves quite so civilized, so "over-civilized," as do we, and so their civility cannot be weaponized and turned against them. They do not want "peace" as obsessively as we do, and so their passion for "peace" cannot stab them in the back. They will have no trouble ceding a large part of the world to the Islamic sphere of influence, the Arabian subcontinent, Africa, southern Europe, western Europe, with the message to Ahmadinejad, or whoever succeeds him, that "you can do whatever you like, as long as you cooperate with us, and as long as you don't threaten us, in which case your life expectancy will grow very short." Russia and China are not paralyzed by our pathological aversion to the use of savagery in self-defense, or in the pursuit of their national self-interests.

I.e.,
Russia and China are waiting in the wings to pick up the geopolitical spoils after the Islamic Resistance Movement deflates and defeats the will of America to defend itself and its interests, and exhausts and obliterates Israel. Russia and China will not threaten American sovereignty in North America, because they will be very happy to look to America as a source of technology exports, cheap labor, and cheap food.

The support of Russia and China for the Islamic Resistance Movement (via Iran) will, however, evaporate, when, or IF, the United States comes to its senses and begins to systematically deconstruct the ability and will of Iran, Syria, and the Islamic Resistance Movement, to project terrorism throughout the world.
Russia and China, quite logically, want to be on the winning side of things when the dust settles. And if another horse starts to run faster, they'll change their bets.

It is not yet too late for America to wake up, smell the coffee, come to its senses, but with each day it gets later. The unsettling reality that America must recognize is that, if we are to survive in anything resembling our present form, dominance, influence, and prosperity, we must decide to subordinate our "niceness," our debilitating civility, America’s incapacitating decency, its sniveling obsession with being "liked" by the rest of the world, no matter how ineffectual or snobbish or opportunistic or barbaric the rest of the world may be, (subordinate that ) to the necessities of defending itself and others, its allies and friends, its Judeo-Christian civilization, and indeed the entire non-Islamic world, from the otherwise implacable advance of the Islamic Resistance Movement that intends to abolish Western Civilization as we have known it, and usher in a new world order of Islamic Empire, a thousand year Reich of puritanical Islamic Naziism.

(The islamo-fascist thugs are right in their thinking, SO FAR. But in that term, “so far”, lies the key to their survival, because WHEN the islamo-fascist thugs continue their arrogant, we’re-God’s-chosen-people violence on Americans, their ignorance of America’s style and depth will push America PAST THE POINT of tolerating the painful irritant rubbing painfully at the American consciousness, and the islamo-fascist thugs will have GALVANIZED the American mind, the American will, into decisive, effective and brutally forceful action against the islamo-fascist thugs!)

Much sooner than the thugs think!) Karridine @ BSWS.b.com

Walther Kronkite: Anti-America, Anti-War



Big Tip o'the Karridine Kepi to Pierre LeGrande for this ripple-making take on the current mindless blathering by talking heads, intent on equating "cessation of active, military hostilities" with "peace"...

Karridine's mole-like researchers deep undercover in the BBC archives have unearthed this recording of Walther Kronkhite broadcasting on the eve of the aborted, much ballyhooed "D-Day"... Unfortunately, most of the recordings from the Nazi-controlled DECADES of widespread terrorism, tyranny, oppression, industrialized genocide and the disease which finally sparked the "Freedom Fighters for Liberty" (war lasting from 1973 ti 1982, with widespread, flagrant nuclear destruction) which finally liberated what remains of the free world today (THANKS, Aussies!) were destroyed by fleeing thugs and Nazi-collaborators afraid of the Aussie-American forces invading through Africa!


Walther Kronkite: June 5, No D-Day! 995k
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Karridine

Dateline June 5 1944: Churchill has decided, some say due to pressure from the US, to accept the Truce brokered by the League of Nations and Goofi Anon. United States Sec of State Candy Ricerocket was said to be pleased to have stopped the war since many innocent children were caught in the crossfire. Secretary Ricerocket stated she was confident that the French Vichy Government would do its part to disarm and replace the Nazis in an effort to defuse a dangerous situation that saw Churchill assembling a rag tag bunch of Canadians and Aussies into an effort to invade the Mainland and drive out the Nazis.

Death and destruction should always be avoided even at the expense of freedom especially when children were at risk, Sec of Satire Ricerocket explained to already nodding journalists. Journalists having been taught all their lives that there was nothing worth dying for simply could not understand Churchills fury at being pressured to abandon the invasion. It was for the children and that settled the matter as far as they were concerned. Sec of State Ricerocket’s stock rose immeasurably with these journalists and invitations flooded in to Sec of State Ricerocket to all the best cocktail parties, satisfaction welled up inside of her. Give me death or give me liberty was such an anachronism, after all how could you attend the Paris Fashion Show if you were dead?

Secretary Ricerocket when asked to comment on reports of large extermination camps inside of Poland stated the OSS as of now had no reliable intelligence that such facilities exist. Sec State Ricerocket went on to say that it would be wrong to paint all Nazis as murderers based on the un-confirmed reports of starving half mad refugees who claimed to have escaped such camps. Without confirmation of such camps certainly no one could blame the US for being against the rash invasion planned by Churchill. Peace was always better than war Sec of Satire Ricerocket explained.

When pressed by several journalists to explain reports of huge trains of cattle cars filled with Jews, Sec of State Ricerocket let slip that this was being looked into by Super Secret Agent Valerie Playmate. Super Secret Agent Valerie Playmate had already sent some reports back that lent credence to the idea that the Nazis were merely misunderstood and that it appeared that stories of cattle cars filled with Jews were the product of the fevered imagination of War Monger Churchill.

In other news today

  • President Bushed commented on the reports of a large glow in the sky reported over a known German test facility. The President assured reporters that reports of a dangerous new weapon developed by the Nazis were totally impossible as the OSS assured him the Germans were nearly 5 years away from developing such city destroying weapons. As a precaution the President reported that Joseph Wilsonian had been sent to investigate. The President had no comment about reports that Ambassador Wilsonian was last seen being wined and dined by the Vichy on the Riviera. President Bushed did let slip that he found it extremely unlikely that reports of Wilsonian drinking sweet tea on the beach were accurate since he knew Ambassador Wilsonian preferred to drink Champagne.
  • Senator Kucinich, Chairman of the powerful Armed Services Committee, cut the ribbon on the new Department of Peace today. This building which resembled nothing as much as a shapeless blob replaced the partially destroyed Pentagon which had been mistakenly destroyed by Nazis Agents. After a few tense moments with the German Ambassador the President had assured him that he completely understood how the Germans could have taken the building as a threat to the peaceful nation of Germany. To avoid such possibilities for provocation in the future the replacement Building was painted pink. To further assure the jumpy Germans all US Battleships were also painted pink and flowers were planted on the decks.
  • Pictures taken of a train wreck in Poland showing thousands of bodies strewn around the wreckage were deemed forgeries by the OSS. Intelligence sources who wish to remain anonymous believe that these were faked by persons unknown to embarrass the Germans.
  • Several Polish areas have seemingly disappeared…authorities are puzzled.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Another Two-Fer

Today Only! Two for the Price of One! (They're FREE? Beat it kid, ya bother me!)

First up is Ghouls!, a copy of the Freedom TV broadcast shot earlier this week and released by Hezbollite Propaganda Productions:

Ghouls! 332k
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Then, for your listening and learning pleasure, Light-Loving Liberal ammunition thought-tools:

LLL-Ammo! 442k
(Right click and "Save as...")

Oh, what the hey! Today you get a threefer: "Stuck in a Fauxhole with YOU!"

Fauxhole! 394k
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Karridine

Well I don't know why I came here tonight,
I see that something all around me ain't right,
I'm so scared in case we fall into war,
When so many can’t remember what for,
Clones to the left of me,
Zealots to the right, here I am,
Stuck in a fauxhole with you.

Yes I'm stuck in fauxhole with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should shoot,
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
(Marxist) Clones to the left of me,
Zealots to the right, here I am,
Stuck in a fauxhole with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
But your hatred and a self-made plan,
And your friends, they all come crawlin’,
Slap you on the ass and say,
Please.... Please.....

Stop Trying to make sense of it at all,
You can see that it makes no sense at all,
Leave the bodies over there on the floor,
'Cause I’m sure there’s gonna be millions more
Fascists to the left of me, Zealots to the right,
Here I am, stuck in a fauxhole with you.

Well you started out with nothing,
But your hatred and a self-made plan,
And your friends, they all come crawlin’,
Slap you on the ass and say,
Fees.... Fees.....

Well I know just why I came here tonight,
I see that all around me ain't right,
I'm elated that we’re going to war,
But so many can’t remember what for,
Marxist Clones to the left of me,
Zealots to the right, here I am,
Stuck in a fauxhole with you.

(Apologies to Gerry Rafferty, my musical hero!)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Green Ghoul Radio Show!


This is YOUR chance! Script a winner! Be famous for 16 or 17 minutes!

The GREEN Ghoul Radio Show! 234k
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Karridine
karridine at gmail-dot-com

A-Q in Drag! and "Shame Culture!"


Here are two short, explanatory recordings: one sarcastic but news-based and one reality-based, from the good Dr Sanity, entitled "Shame Culture!"

Shame Culture! 952k
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Al-Qaeda in Drag! 284k
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Karridine

This just in: KABUL, Afghanistan — Afghan and U.S. troops killed one Al Qaeda suspect and detained 13 others Tuesday in southeastern Afghanistan, the American military said.

Soldiers surrounded a residential compound in the Khost province village of Yaqubi early Tuesday to capture a known Al Qaeda facilitator linked to weapons and explosives smuggling in the area, the military said in a statement.

The troops asked people inside the compound to surrender. Most did, but a suspected Al Qaeda member disguised himself as a woman and resisted arrest and was shot dead, the statement said.

It was not immediately clear if the wanted facilitator was the same as the person who was humiliated and killed or among those who were detained.”

We play for you now this exclusive recording of Ahmed Afghani trying to convince Abdul al-Qaedi to give up:

Ahmed: What are you doing, Abdul?

Abdul: I am getting some camouflage… urban camouflage…

Ahmed: But it makes you look weak and stupid, like a woman!

Abdul: You are the weak and stupid one! YOU are surrendering to the Great Satan enemy!

Ahmed: But Abdul, they hold us for 5 days, slap us gently, feed us well and release us to fight again! You-

Abdul: I, ME, I am the masculine here and YOU are the chump!

Ahmed: But YOU are dressed as a WOMAN, choad of the oppressors!

Abdul: Watch me! Hide in the rocks and watch me walk right past the stupid Emrikkans!

Ahmed: No, Abdul, wait-

Gunshots!

Never mind… (signoff)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

How Do YOU Spell Useless? k-o-f-i-a-n....


The Uxorious Nitwits spring into action, demand reports, in triplicate, by Friday, leave the mauve copy with Gertrude...

(No Diatribe Yet...)

Karridine

Psycho-Fiskal Market Report:


Noel Sheppard posts this fascinating analysis of Presidential Products in America, and the upcoming Big Sale!

Market Overview & Analysis: 1,330k
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Karridine

How Low Can Democrat Stocks Go?
August 14th, 2006

Last week was certainly a bad one for shares of Democrat companies. From Tuesday’s drubbing of Lieberman Locks, to Thursday and Friday’s hammering of Appeasements “R” Us, the Standard & Poors Democrat Index reached a low not seen since before the Dubai Ports World merger fell apart in March.

This left many market-watchers wondering whether the rally in these stocks that began with the collapse of Miers Supreme in October 2005 was really the start of a new bull market in this group, or just another dead Democrat bounce in an ongoing bear market.

By Friday’s close, investors around the world were asking themselves two questions:

• Will this recent Democrat sell-off that began in June with revelations of money problems at Jefferson Freezer and Reid’s Sporting Goods continue through November, and, if so…

• Will this set up a final catastrophic decline in all of these shares that forces the breakup of the entire industry?

In reality, this would not be the first time this has occurred, as a similar corporate restructuring transpired in 1824. At the time, this sector was referred to as the Democratic-Republicans. In that year’s quadrennial presidential sale, only the DRs offered products to the public, as the Federalists by then had all gone bankrupt.

With no clear industry leader, the DRs actually marketed four presidential candidates in 1824, which so confused consumers that there was no constitutionally accepted winner. After much haggling and debate, the nod was given to John Quincy Adams even though Andrew Jackson received the most electoral and popular votes.

As a result of this industry crisis, the Democratic-Republicans began a multi-decade restructuring that eventually ended in an ATT-style divestiture into the two political sectors we have today. This struggle culminated in years of Republican dominance that began with the introduction of the world-renowned company Honest Abe’s in 1860.

If past is indeed prologue, the same sector-wide meltdown could be occurring today by the Democrats leading to a similar breakup. The current struggle has already taken out one industry stalwart, Lieberman Locks, which as recently as 2000 was considered the second-strongest company within the sector.

Unfortunately, deceptive marketing practices by the likes of MoveOn.org and Daily Kos have undermined consumer confidence in Lieberman’s products, so much so that the famed lock producer is shifting its entire business plan.

On top of this, the failed al Qaeda takeover of key players in the airline industry Wednesday exposed chinks in the armor of the less security-minded companies in the sector. Undoubtedly, the incorporation of a 9/11-style al Qaeda flight plan throughout the airline industry would make the products offered by the liberal Democrats much less appealing. In fact, had this failed takeover attempt occurred prior to Tuesday, it is likely that Lieberman Locks would never have fallen so out of favor with investors.

As The Wall Street Journal reported Friday, this failed hostile takeover:

“…takes some of the wind out of the sails of the [Democrats’] resurgent liberal wing, said Michael O’Hanlon, a military analyst.”

Similarly, Appeasements “R” Us’s huge drubbing on Thursday and Friday after the al Qaeda failure offered additional evidence of the possible changing fortunes in this sector. With consumers likely now more interested in the security products offered by the Republicans, sales by Democrat companies could plummet in the coming months.

The New York Times agreed with this assessment reporting Friday that following this airline industry event:

“…the nation needs tough Republican [products] to protect Americans from threats from abroad.”

The financial website Bloomberg supported this view:

The unraveling of [al Qaeda’s hostile bid] may bolster the Republican [corporate] strategy of presenting their [products] as best equipped to confront a dangerous world.”

Republican bigwigs echoed such sentiments, with people like Ohio Life and Casualty Chairman Bill Bennett claiming that Democrat companies are no longer making:

“‘…the very types of [products] that helped the British thwart [al Qaeda’s attempted airline takeover].’”

And, Tom Reynolds, CEO of Buffalo Wings, was quoted by the Associated Press Friday as saying:

“‘Democrats are stone-cold guilty of engaging in a reckless and irresponsible pattern of neglect for the security of our citizens.’”

Taking almost an ostrich approach to recent events, Democrat CEOs “attacked Republicans as failing to improve airline security” according to the Times. Harry Reid, the owner and founder of Reid’s Sporting Goods, affirmed such sentiments claiming that the failed al Qaeda takeover:

“…demonstrates the need for the [Republicans] to change course…and ensure that we are taking all the steps necessary to protect Americans at home and across the world.”

Even the least savvy of investors would recognize that such statements clearly ignored the realities of the current marketplace. After all, it is indeed Republican corporations, working with British concerns, which blocked the al Qaeda airline industry takeover. The fact that Democrat CEOs appear to be missing this is further indication of the chaos in the industry.

All of this leads analysts to believe that the Democrats are heading for an internal showdown between companies like Lieberman Locks which are still manufacturing security products, and those like Reid’s Sporting Goods that no longer offer handguns and rifles to their customers.

If Lieberman Locks’ more aggressive approach proves successful in the important November sales period just three months away, with less security-minded Democrat companies losing even more market-share to Republicans, an industry shakeup is almost inevitable. At that point, other more security oriented concerns like Clinton Paraphernalia could split from the Democrats, prompting a divestiture like what began in 1824.

As Clinton Paraphernalia has been an industry leader since first appearing on the market in 1991, its aggressive husband and wife executive management team have shown that they are willing to do absolutely anything to assure their success.

If Lieberman Locks and Republican sales continue to surge through November 7, Clinton Paraphernalia will have to further separate itself from the liberal business practices of the Democrats. This could lead other security-minded companies like Bayh.com and Biden Safe to dissociate themselves from the Democrats as well.

Whether the Democrat industry is going the way of the VCR manufacturer is not known yet. However, the rally that began in October 2005 seems like a distant memory, and any further loss in market-share between now and November 2006 could prove fatal for a business-model that three decades ago was sweeping the nation like Disco music and polyester suits.

Noel Sheppard for the Psycho-Fiskal Market Report

Monday, August 14, 2006

Protein Wisdom: Rationalizations and Rationale


Vinny posts this at Jeff Goldstein's Protein Wisdom, stating succinctly and powerfully WHY real or imagined anger does NOT give ANYONE an excuse for mass-murder or even self-murder!

I'm Angry, Too! 480k
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Karridine



The idea that sentiment over foreign policy can be used as an excuse for mass murder is absurd. As such, it could only be swallowed by our so-called thinking classes and peddled without reflection by our clueless media.

I was “angered” by the foreign policy of the former Soviet Union, sponsors of an ideology responsible for a stack of corpses 100 million high (with no ICC warrants or calls for investigations by HRW in sight).

I could claim that it is impossible for me to “forgive” the cowardice of European foreign policies over the last hundred years, which have brought us a pair of world wars, industrialized genocide, and a Cold War which threatened the planet with nuclear armageddon. After all, my grandfather and uncles fought in the hot wars and I was taxed to fight the cold one.

I could be perpetually “outraged” over the inability of the UN to do anything other than wring its hands as slaughter occurs places like (Rwanda, Serbia and) the Sudan.

And MY co-religionists are truly oppressed in places like China and throughout the middle east—this, in contrast with the largely concocted grievances nurtured by recipients of the largest transfer of wealth in human history.

I’ve got just as much right to feel things on a personal level as any third generation British Muslim has to feel about what’s taking place in the middle east. But the idea that any of this gives me a pass to fly planes into chancelleries of Europe or the UN’s tenement on Turtle Bay is lunacy.

But, then again, violence committed on behalf of politically fashionable causes and by ideologically protected groups has been a fixture of our political landscape for nearly half a century—and it doesn’t seem likely to disappear any time soon.

Posted by Vinny Vidivici | permalink on 08/14 at 05:04 PM

Blue Helmet? Green Helmet? AP Support?

UPDATE 2330 13-8-06CE: Ever more ghoulish and openly propaganda-twisted aspects are coming into focus, with this documented report that GreenHelmet the Ghoul actually drives around with a refrigerated truck full of dead children, just in case there aren't enough for a good photo-op!

UPDATE
-2200EST 13-8-2006CE: The Associated Press is actually DEFENDING this Hizbollah Ghoul, even after the German documentary video!


Karridine's Kepi tipped to: Beagle, Thanos, Zack, sss111, Cattt and BlueSky (at the very least!)

The loathsome ghoul working for Hezbollah's Death-Loving Minions is captured on tape, by the Constitution-Crushing Crusaders of NSA Way!

Listen now, as Blue Helmet gets instructions from George Galloway. Or is it George Soros? Well, it ain't George Bush!

Blue Helmet's Boffo Box-Office! 449K
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Karridine

Blue Helmet Boffo Press: Baby-Bodies Betrayed!

-ring!-

‘Allo! Yes, yes Sir Meester Soros, Sir! We are getting GOOD press, yes?

What? No, there is no such thing as ‘bad publicity’, heh-heh…

'Scewz me? Well, yes, I do have some… hold on… HERE! They call me Shoddy Jihadi, and “..sick, twisted bastard…” I try... These are good…

Uh? Yes, there are some of them too, like “He's homely as a mud fence, the Don Johnson stubble looks sloppy on him, he has a girly voice, and he desecrates and poses baby corpses for a living. Phooey!” What is a pooey? FOOey? Means What? Oh.

Don’t like them! The bloggers are murdering us, Mr Soros! Their Dhimmis and k’ffirs call this ‘deathporn’ , as if these bebbies did not really die! The TRUTH?

They DID die, Soros. (softly) Just not in Isray-eeli attacks!

Yessir, we’re turning Associated Press into Arab Press and Associated Propaganda!

That is GOOD, but the bloggers too quickly see through our victimhood pretenses! They lay us open to criticism! Hey, the bloggers FORCED al-Reuters to withdraw 920- nine hundred and twenty GOOD PROPAGANDA PICTURES, Soros!

Well, we have some hope, because The stupid AND willfully ignorant among the western media FORGET about Uday and Qusay, and how it is ‘un-Islamic’ to display their meat-bag corpses…”

Abdel Qader, Salam Daher, Shadi Jradi Jihadi, what does it matter? They catch us, we LIE BIGGER! Taqiyyah is second-nature to us, no problem!

What?

Yessir, Mr Soros. If they follow the money, or if they grow a backbone, we are up the Shiite Creek, with Koran paddles!

(Signoff) salamdaher@yahoo.com

O SON OF BEING!
How couldst thou forget thine own faults and busy thyself with the faults of others? Whoso doeth this is accursed of Me. The Glory of God,
Baha’u’llah

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Ode to LGF: Winslow Leach


Here's an extended attaboy, and more:

Ode to LGF: 473K
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Karridine
Graphic: Little Green Footballs raining on Hizb'ollah's parade

Ode to LGF

I've lain and lurked for many a year,
Such wonders have I seen!
Islam unveiled, the Media nailed,
upon the glowing screen.

A phantom lost in paradise,
Such wonders have I seen!
The truth revealed, the lies repealed,
Upon the glowing screen.

And finally, here, my words appear,
I join pajamaheddin.
One minion more comes to the fore,
To post the following paean:

All hail sir Charles, the lizard king,
And hail his zombie queen.
All hail the noblest blog of all,
The small footballs of green.

And one minion who Like all the rest

Can clarify the scene

Humble, background, context-born

The s-c-a-l-y Karridine!

(Tip o’the Karridine Kepi to Winslow Leach, the Composer)

Hezbollah may have been wrong to send rockets into Israel, but look at this picture of a child’s toy in the rubble and tell me you still support the war. Any war.”

As loathe as I am to take on an otherwise affable and intelligent guy like James Lileks, I must state my support for a war, ANY war, that targets child-killers like Hizbollah even while they’re hiding amongst and behind children, AIMING Hizbollah weapons toward population-centers FILLED WITH CHILDREN and women, most of whom are Jews or Baha’is.

With one, the children ARE the target. With the others, the child-killers ARE the target.

I’ll stand by the difference. (Signoff)

O SON OF MAN!
Transgress not thy limits, nor claim that which beseemeth thee not. Prostrate thyself before the countenance of thy God, the Lord of might and power. 24A - The Glory of God

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Green Helmet? Dead Kids? Who Cares?


Karridine's Kepi tipped to: Beagle, Thanos, Zack, sss111, Cattt and BlueSky (at the very least!)

The loathsome ghoul working for Hezbollah's Death-Loving Minions is captured on tape, by the Constitution-Crushing Crusaders of NSA Way!

Listen now, as Blue Helmet gets instructions from George Galloway. Or is it George Soros? Well, it ain't George Bush!

Blue Helmet's Boffo Box-Office! 449K
(Right-click and "Save as...")

Karridine

Blue Helmet Boffo Press: Baby-Bodies Betrayed!

-ring!-

‘Allo! Yes, yes Sir Meester Soros, Sir! We are getting GOOD press, yes?

What? No, there is no such thing as ‘bad publicity’, heh-heh…

'Scewz me? Well, yes, I do have some… hold on… HERE! They call me Shoddy Jihadi, and “..sick, twisted bastard…” I try... These are good…

Uh? Yes, there are some of them too, like “He's homely as a mud fence, the Don Johnson stubble looks sloppy on him, he has a girly voice, and he desecrates and poses baby corpses for a living. Phooey!” What is a pooey? FOOey? Means What? Oh.

Don’t like them! The bloggers are murdering us, Mr Soros! Their Dhimmis and k’ffirs call this ‘deathporn’ , as if these bebbies did not really die! The TRUTH?

They DID die, Soros. (softly) Just not in Isray-eeli attacks!

Yessir, we’re turning Associated Press into Arab Press and Associated Propaganda!

That is GOOD, but the bloggers too quickly see through our victimhood pretenses! They lay us open to criticism! Hey, the bloggers FORCED al-Reuters to withdraw 920- nine hundred and twenty GOOD PROPAGANDA PICTURES, Soros!

Well, we have some hope, because The stupid AND willfully ignorant among the western media FORGET about Uday and Qusay, and how it is ‘un-Islamic’ to display their meat-bag corpses…”

Abdel Qader, Salam Daher, Shadi Jradi Jihadi, what does it matter? They catch us, we LIE BIGGER! Taqiyyah is second-nature to us, no problem!

What?

Yessir, Mr Soros. If they follow the money, or if they grow a backbone, we are up the Shiite Creek, with Koran paddles!

(Signoff) salamdaher@yahoo.com

O SON OF BEING!
How couldst thou forget thine own faults and busy thyself with the faults of others? Whoso doeth this is accursed of Me. The Glory of God,
Baha’u’llah

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Falsehoods and Fauxtographers!


If the propaganda war is the only way Hizb'ollah can win against a determined and concerted effort from the West, then I stand to fight my part of the war against those who attack and disdain truth, justice and freedom!

" A French language Lebanese publication, citing an unnamed source in Hezbollah, has claimed that the organization placed a rocket launcher on the roof of the notorious building in Qana to provoke an Israeli attack and brought invalid children inside to serve as victims and blacken Israel's name."



The Mister GreenHelmet Club, Lebanon Branch (356K)
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Karridine
Graphic: Photo by shamed liar Adnan Hajj, humiliated ex-Reuters stringer

Mr GreenHelmet and the Kids

The GreenHelmet Theme Song

“When bombs are falling down

Mister Green Helmet

Is somewhere underground

Mister Green Helmet

Is not a ghoul

He works for Hizbollah

Just a heartless tool

Mister Green Helmet…”

Allo, Leetle kiddies, today Hizbollah is staging a press conference to answer your questions…

What? Yes, the questions we taught you earlier this morning, you may ask those questions…

The cameras? Are rolling, so here we going…

You, poor bebbie, speak to microphone…

“Did Israelis bomb us again?”

GH: Yes, very bad… Yes?

“Why did the Hizbollah force us to stay?”

GH: oh.. uh, it… is GOOD to die a martyr’s death-

“But you hide in the deep bunkers!”

GH: uh… you, what is YOUR question?

“In Muslim families, ALL CHILDREN except first-born males are crippled children, right? But we are all Christian children, so why do WE have to be here in the Israeli bomb zone?”

GH: heh-heh, well, that is all we have time for today, come back next time when Meester GreenHelmet will show you how to use corpses as props!

Monday, August 07, 2006

Doctor Reuters' Struggles!


Here they are, two coveted covert recordings from Karridine's friend, Sekritt 'Leaky' Sorce, at the NSA. Listen now, as Dr Reuters squirms and fights brushfires and scrambles for Damage Control:

Doctor Reuters: One (300K) Dealing with Bloggers
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Doctor Reuters: Two (411K) Dealing with The Boss
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Karridine
Graphic: Beirut Photoshop: Altered Photo prima facie evidence of tampering


Doctor Reuters: One

-ring!- Yes, Doctor Reuters…

Yes? Well- well- Please, yes I can explain. The ‘Smoke Over Beirut’ picture was an accident as the photographer was trying to remove dust-

What? How can you possibly get DUST on a digital picture with no negative? Uh, well-

Wailing Lady July 24 & Aug 5” Now just hold on there, Reuters is in the business of seeking out the truth, and the truth is… uh… she… the Jews… uhm… what? DrinkingFromHome? Scar is the same, right eye same…

But that doesn’t prove-

Now see here!

What? “See here” is a figure of speech-

You don’t figure Reuters’ speech is better than its pictures…

What? Lemme write this down…

“One picture is worth a thousand words,” and Reuters has more than 3 thousand words’ worth of altered pictures online August 7th

(sigh……)

Yes, and thank you for- -click!- calling Reuters



Doctor Reuters: Two

-ring!- Hello, Chief? Its me calling from Damage Control…

Hundreds, Chief! Thousands of callers are swamping the lines, hundreds get through and almost a quarter of them are from paying accounts, who are furious that we’re making them look like Hizbollah propaganda outlets!

Yeah, uh-hunh… but Chief, we already fired Adnan Hajj! We’re distancing ourselves as fast-

What? Yeah, we’re saying that, but these BLOGGERS are telling the world our editors bear some responsibility here becau-

Well, Chief, we CAN’T stonewall! We’re losing accounts now, and by midweek we’re going to be hemorrhaging red ink!

Who can we fire? That’s your call, Chief! It hasta be an editor, at least, because they took money to edit and stop stuff like this, and jeez, if it was ONE picture it’d be bad, but the blogs have at least 3-

Hunh? Whaddaya mean?

Yeah, Reuters from offices all over the world were crawling all over that Little Green Footballs site, but they’re clean, Chief… they’re just humans, ordinary humans, with experience and learning and a hunger for –

What? Chief… CHIEF! Listen, if you don’t authorize some extra staff, right now, to comb our online archives and pull ALL doctored pictures, there might not BE a Reuters this time next week!

And no, I don’t see a way we can blame this on Bush or the Jews…

Okay, Chief, there’s more calls coming in… Yeah, nice knowing you, too…

-click!-

Signoff



Karridine.