Monday, July 03, 2006

SCOTUS & SATAN


The Prince of Darkness today released a special interview, using one of his favorite 'news' channels after al-Jazeera.


Hear Interview With the Devil! (400K)


Karridine
Graphic: the Devil's Dog, through whom he spoke to reporters.

SATAN MULLS BUSH LAWSUIT

HELL (AP)- In a surprise announcement today, Satan said that he is considering suing the Bush administration over which souls are sent to heaven and which to hell. "I've always felt that the system was a little unfair," the Devil stated. "Sure, we get more than enough celebrities and politicians, but frankly, after a while you get tired of dealing with a__holes." The devil indicated that he envisions a process more like the NFL draft to improve the "diversity" of the underworld. In addition, he stated that he finds the glut of suicide bombers frequenting hell to be "annoying."

The Prince of Darkness indicated that the current criteria for damnation had been around since the beginning of time, and that he thought it was time for an overhaul. When asked if the American courts had any authority in the matter, Satan replied "You know, I used to not think so. But I've come to find out that there is no area of existence where they don't think their opinion is needed. Apparently if something isn't to their liking they can dig up whatever mumbo jumbo they want in order to make it so. Plus, they've been very accommodating on the whole Ten Commandments thing."

When asked what role the Bush adminsitarion has in determining who goes to hell, satan indicated "None. But that doesn't seem to matter either. Lots of people agree with you if you say something is Bush's fault. As long as I complain loudly and long enough, I can get the one thing I can always use: Sympathy for the Devil."

Hat Tip to z9z99

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