Sunday, June 04, 2006

A Short History of War

Not THE war, just "War', as given us by a renowned scholar and military historian, Binq O'Bunnie.

Without further ado:

A Short History of War


BingoBunny 6/2/2006 10:07PM PDT

A short history of warfare since the dawn of time till the present.

One tribe kills all members of the next tribe.

Slavery is invented as a humanitary way to not have to kill everyone.

One tribe enslaves all members of the next tribe.

Rome grows very powerful, along with China, and several other empires begin.

Rebellions always fail, since the attacking force makes a profit from the slaves they capture.

The powerful nations grow fat and lazy and get slaves to do the fighting for them.

The powerful nations are defeated and we suffer dark ages of weak countries ruled by former slaves run crazy, until they absorb some culture from the former masters they now hold as slaves. (or their former masters’ books if they are really stupid)

These new nations develop rules to control war, they abolish slavery so powerful states can't make a profit invading them.

Death rules again as states invent more powerful weapons to kill as fast as possible
because the wars they fight are too expensive for the victors to make a profit

More rules are developed so that civilians are not killed by weapons of war. These are even more expensive to build, so poor nations can't afford to even defend them selves any more...

Barbarians invade poor countries in the third world and develop rule by force, whereupon all get to vote in the UN as if they were actual countries, instead of gangsters.

The gangster nations get Atomic Bombs.

Powerful nations humble themselves before their new masters... trying to obey the rules of war that they know the gangsters will never obey!


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