"The Line" on Iran

Have you ever wanted to bet on the outcome of something like ... oh, say, the War in Iraq? Did you ever think about the professional bookies who TAKE wagers on things like that?

Oh.

Well, neither did I until I overheard this:


"What's the Line on Iran?"



Karridine

The Line

-phone rings-

This is Bernie’s Best Betting & Wild Wagers, ‘place a marker, place a million, its YOUR win!’ how can I help youse?

Yeah, we got all the betting lines and wagering quotations, we’ve got horse races, greyhounds, world cup, NBA, WWF, boxing, pool, NasCar, frog-jump and-

What? Yeah, we got the line on Iraq, gimme a second…

Here it is:

Iraq Becomes a Failure at This Point, 10 to 7 Against!
Iraq Devolves Into Civil War, 4 to 1 Against!
Iraq Low-Level Conflict Continues 90-180 Days, 3-10 For!
Iraq Continues Its Upward Climb, 4-1 For!
Iraqis Continue to Experience Safer, More Productive Lives, 9-10 For!
Chances of Bush Getting Credit for the Wins-to-Date, 10-1 Against!
Chan-

Hunh? The Line on Iran? Holjer horses, I’m calling it up on my computer now… Here we go:

Iran MEANS to Negotiate, 14-1 Against

Iran NEEDS Nukes, 17-1 Against

Iran Allows Internal Human Rights in the Next Year, 52-1 Against

Iranian Students Lead an Uprising, 5-3 Against, but check this weekly

Iran Gets Atomic Weapons, 1776-1 Against

Iran Wipes Israel Off the Map, 1844-1 Against

Iran Eats Nukes if it doesn’t give up illegal development, 1-1 For. Sure thing!

What’s your pleasure, place yr bet here, at Bernie’s Best Bets!