Not Walter Kronkite!

Listen now, as Walter Krankheit reads some headlines from "Truth OUT!".org These are real headlines, but we get to hear the news as Walter SHOULD read it!


Walter Reads Headlines!


Karridine

Headlines

These first few, courtesy Truth-Out.org, which trumpets:

Bush Acknowledges
Guantanamo Damages US Image

And a couple of shocking revelations from Truth-Out:Outcry Over
Suicides at Guantanamo

Religious Leaders
Urge US to Ban Torture

Now, for the rumors behind the headlines.

President George Bush admitted today that all the inmates at Guantanamo, being non-uniformed combatants captured when they were actively red-handed (in most cases, LITERALLY!) on the battlefields of Afghanistan and Iraq, were NOT subject to any consideration under the Geneva Conventions and when America doesn’t shoot them outright, America invites scorn, ridicule and criticism from other countries where such abusive thugs are common, and seek to exert brutal, terrorist control over unarmed civilians.

The ‘Outcry Over Suicides’ at Guantanamo, said Truth-Out, comes mostly from the Useful Idiots Division of the Socialist/Islamo-Fascist Mutual Assistance Front (SIFMAF), a ‘good-cop’ arm of the “leftists and terrorist Muslims” of the world. Most of them being illiterate, they believe what their handlers tell them, and Cry Out as if the suicides actually reflected negatively on America! Truth-Out spokespersons said “Well, yeah… Of COURSE those suicides were meant to make America look bad, Man! Those people were ignorant and stupid, and hanging in their cells was their way of showing America a thing or two!” Burials are scheduled immediately after the delivery of pig-entrails for suitably preparing the corpses.

And religious leaders, urging the US government to ban torture, explained that they much preferred that Americans die in greater number, and suffer maiming and crippling disfigurement in numbers too massive to count, rather than let even ONE poor, ignorant ‘Freedom Fighter’ lose a night’s sleep from the ‘torture’ of sleep deprivement. After all, said Truth-Out, religion’s a total scam, so religious leaders are –what?- hypocritical know-nothings, right? Signoff