Karma Akbar, Baby!
With a Tip of the Karridine Stetson to Mr Kufr of LGF, today's post is an irreverent amalgam of musical and snide observations on Zarqawiwi's Precipitated Downsizing...
Karma Akbar, Baby!
Karma Akbar, baby.
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
With shrapnel in my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how to do you wrong
I faked strong
I learned how to carry on
But now they're back
from outer space
They just dropped a bomb in here
with that glad look upon its face
I should have changed my stupid guard
I should have made him leave his key
If I had known for just one second
They'd be back to boom on me
Go on now go crawl out the door
just push that cement slab
'cause there’s no door there anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me from the sky
you think I'd mumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh well, yes I
I won’t survive
as long as i know how to breathe
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
Fifty-two minutes left to give
and I'll survive
If I strive…
It took all the strength I had
not to fall off the cart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent all my labored breaths
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to laugh at their deaths
Now I can’t hold my head up high
and you see me
I'm still that gutless little person
still in love with death’s sad call
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be dead
now I'm saving all my breathing
for some GI, name of Fred
I won’t survive…
Keep on the Sunni Side of Life, Zarqawiwi!
Sunni Side of the Street
Get your head, forget your pain
Leave your non-existent doorstep
Direct your broken feet
To the Sunni side of the street…
Sunni, Yesterday My Life Was Full & Sweet,
Sunni, Two Bombs Came Down & Now I’m Incomplete!
I used to dish out suffering pain
Now I’m hemorrhaging in my brain
Sunni… Where’s my sweet by and by?
Conversation between American and Iraqi forces:
Americans: OK, we know where he is. Should we try to take him alive?
Iraqis: What, are you nuckin' futs? We DON'T want another one of your fency Western O.J. al-Simpson trials! One is enough! We still wish your boys had just put a bullet in Saddam's head. We want him DEAD, understand? What do you suggest?
Americans: Well, we've found that a couple of 500 lb. bombs tend to make short work of the average safe house ..."
"Can anyone tell me why we could not have ordered the marines or the Iraqi police to surround this house and ask for him to come out before firing rounds into the house?"
Oh, now that would have been brilliantly successful, wouldn't it? "Hello? Anybody in there? Yeah, hi there. Hey, could you send Zarqawi out here? Why? Oh, no real reason. We just wanted to see if he wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies or would like a copy of the Watchtower or to donate to Unicef. Thanks!"
CandyGram for Zarqawi
"...then Zarqawi clutched the white kitten tightly as he sang the lyrics to his own penned song, 'Old Shoe' before he nodded and smiled at the American troops and tearfully recited in perfect Hebrew the Shema."
What makes us different from them ?
2. Constitution and Bill of Rights
3. 10 trillion dollar GDP
4. We are the nexus of the entire
world. Without our support the
world as we know it would be
totalitarian and tribal.
5. Our dead can vote in
6. Who's gonna stop us? 9-11
deligitimized entire sections
of the Geneva Convention.
7. Because we know that we will
return to normalcy once we
have put an end to this era
8. We are the greatest
humanitarian nation to ever
exist. Our tax freedon day is
June. We spend trillions on
humanitarian causes worldwide.
9. War is all hell and yet we
already use only minimum of
10. Because as Tony Blair said
in his address to a joint
session of Congress.
"Because history has put us in this time and place
and only we can do the job"
(Tip of the Karridine Stetson to Mr Khan, who suggested "I Will Survive" to me! Thanks, Man!)