Sunday, June 11, 2006

Maelstrom of the Memes! Countdown of Koolth!

Read 'em and weep!

Read 'em and CHEER!

These are this week's Top Ten Headlines as analyzed and synthesized by my professional research staff, and gleaned from all over the Blogosphere!

Without further ado:

The Maelstrom of the Memes, June 11, 2006


Maelstrom of the Memes: Countdown for the Top Ten: June 4-11, 2006CE

1. Zark's death : the number one meme this week, June 4 to 11th, 2006, is that the manly man, who introduced the world to videotaped beheadings, WAS found in the wreckage of his safehouse in Hibhib, Iraq, squealed out by a rat informer close to him, and conscious enough to KNOW it was Team Satan who got him, and mumbling something as he attempted to roll off the stretcher where the hated American troops were administering first aid to Musab al-Zarqawi. Please do not call him Zarqawiwi.

Zark was a burly, manly man, whose joy at beheading helpless victims was only tempered by his enthusiasm at targetting civilians for car-bombs, Shi’ite or Sunni, and his enhanced passing this week has spawned numerous callous jokes, few of them in good taste, and only a few of them posted here so that you will know to recognize and avoid these tasteless Zarkman jokes in the future.

I mean, it isn’t even funny to think of Zarkman mumbling something, and then a GI asking his buddy, “What did he say?” and getting the answer, “He said, Please take your knee off my chest!”

Musab al-Zarkman is dead. Abu is a title, a term of respect, and that is why NONE of the reports and rants created here have used that term for Zarqawiwi, who is STILL… dead!

This is Karridine, at Brain Surgery With Spoons! wishing you a happy and eventful week, progressing toward your predetermined, worthwhile goals! See you again June 18th!

2. Haditha story falling apart: eager to jump at the chance to print and report unconfirmed RUMORS and LEAKS about the Haditha Massacre, as long as such leaks make American troops look like the Islamist thugs and murderers our troops are fighting against, but now NOT SO EAGER to report the details coming out of various investigations, which are supporting the finding that Americans were NOT the killers of the women and children found by Iraqi police in Haditha… however,

3. Canada arrests: which lawfully and rationally investigated, then arrested, Muslim terrorist wannabees with 3 thousand kilograms of nitrogenous fertilizer, and detonating mechanisms and planning conversations on tape with aims at beheading the Canadian prime minister… and this was followed within hours by bleating lawyers, playing the ‘Islamo-victim’ card and ‘fearing backlash’ on the poor, beleaguered Muslim-Canadian community, which was nearly unanimous in its SILENCE, and stonewalling acceptance of the terrorists in its midst, no matter WHAT stories the have to tell to try and exonerate them, which leads to

4. Thailand and its king : King Bumipon Adulyadet, in ceremonies solemn and joyous, marked 60 years of peaceful, constitutional rule for the people of Thailand. A widely popular king, highly regarded in the world and long noted for his decades of tireless efforts on behalf of the people of Thailand, King Bumipon has personally directed efforts and schemes and plans to improve the agriculture and produce and infrastructure of Thailand, and his selfles work, day after day and year after year for 6 decades, has made him REAL and VISIBLE to the common people, who have no need of political BS, and appreciate their king’s LACK of partisan BS, and are sharing their joy with each other and the rest of the world, (even the Islamo-fascists of southern Thailand, if they WANT to join…) even with those in Canada,

5. Israeli air strike kills Gaza security chief. This meme can be found all over the internet, but often disguised as, “Jordyptian EXAMINES car now stained with faint traces of remains and body-parts of Gaza thugs, sent to an timely and long-overdue meeting with their 7.2 virgin olives…” The fore-going label about Palestinian Jordyptians ‘examining’ a car (Oh, look, Ahmad, the engine produces ZERO pollution!

Yes, Mahmoud, because the engine no longer runs, what with its separation from the body of the car… quite like-) and we interrupt this ghoulish CAR SWARM, to look at the Majesty of Kingship, as

6. Iran, forced to the negotiating table by the subtle, (and none-too-subtle) hints of nuclear punishment on a 90-to-1 retribution scale, covered its fear with bravado and the usual Islamic chump-bluster from Ahmadi-nejad, who postured and struck poses quite similar to Il Duce, Mussolini, whose bravado and bluster and arrogance exceeded that of Ahmadi-nejad, and really helped Mussolini when the end came…

6. British raid to stop a Muslim sleeper-cell from launching a chemical attack on other Britons, was criticized by the loud minority, angered at its success and blatantly twisting this into victimhood, poor victims us, boo-hoo, WE are abused…

8. New Zealand setting Saudi dude back to Saudi as security threat

9. Thugs: “Thugs, We Are Thugs, and We’ll Kill You Like Thugs” (except some of the Jordyptian thug-wannabees, who were humiliated earlier this week when they kidnapped a Jewish student, for torture and ransome, then quickly let him go free when they learned he is also AMERICAN, and they didn’t want to ‘Cop a Zarkman!’

10. UN fiascos of the Week (this may become a regular on its own!)

Karridine Hat-Tip to scooter, who quotes Rep. Thaddeus G. McCotter

"Given his novel diplomatic approach of biting our hand before it feeds him, let us see what our simple Middle American minds can glean from the fathomless seas of Malloch Brown's troubled mind:

First, one can sense he disdains the "stereotyping over too many years" of anything, except Middle America.
Second, one can tell he is no fan of Middle America's unsophisticated attachment to "unchecked" freedom of speech.
Third, one can admire his compassionate dedication to defending a "victim," so long as they are whining and dining UN bureaucrats and not, one fears, an African.
Fourth, from his tone, one can discern UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan is standing firmly in his Gucci shoes behind his man, despite pressure from America's Ambassador to the UN, John Bolton, whose unbecoming, Middle American vice of moral clarity has made even senators weep.
Fifth, one can be sure Ambassador Bolton and the U.S. House Republicans demands U.S. funding be tied to UN reform is being put at the top of his and Secretary-General Annan's long list of U.S. crimes against bureaucracy.
Sixth, one can hope he doesn't visit Middle America.
And, finally, one can wretch at the UN's sense of entitlement to Americans' money."
"OK ... I can't print it like that, so I'll restate the question. What should Middle America politely tell Malloch Brown?

How's this:

"Dear Mr. Mark Malloch-Brown,

"We in Middle America never reward a rude beggar. Your problem is not Middle America's ignorance of the U.N.’s virtues; your problem is Middle America's awareness of your vices.

"So, until you U.N. mendicants clean up your mess, and stop your unchecked U.S.-bashing and stereotyping of Middle America, you will get no more of our money. Period.”



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