Monday, May 15, 2006

If Winston Churchill Were Here Today...

In the face of so much trivial, mindless and malicious buffoonery, I put some real thought into ways to show the seriousness of today's struggle with a determined and dangerous enemy, and asked myself,
"What would Churchill say about this?"

So I found some of Winston's more famous quotations, and give them to you now, as they would be bowdlerized, satirized and castrated by the politically-correct censors of today's touchy-feely world:

Winnie the Poofter
(Right-Click and Save as...)


I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents. Nowadays, we can excite some OTHER passions…

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. But don’t tell the Muslims…

It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required. So, what do the Muslims require of me?

Never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events. Eeew, that’s too scary for me!

One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. Then bending over and grabbing your ankles will take care of the rest!

We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire...Give us the tools and we will finish the job. Oh, yeth, give me a good hard tool and I’ll finith the job!

I would say to the House, as I said to those who have joined this Government: 'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat." And maybe a few OTHER bodily juices…

Never give in--never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. But a little forceful role-playing with plastic handcuffs gives me the shivers!

You ask, What is our policy? I will say; "It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy." You ask, What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory - victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. But we better not let Mither Bush know about this!

We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend ournation, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender. Unless the Muslims are bullies! Then we’ll just give up and whimper!



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