Defending Obama

I have a friend, executive type, VERY capable, and she's a native Kenyan, now back living in Nairobi sparkplugging an air-charter company for cargo and clients. She's very enthusiastic about Obama, and her enthusiasm was catching, so I set out to argue Obama's case, promote him, speak well of him, and started a list of good things about Obama.

First of all, there's the abundance of Dark Cloud Dispersion that follows Obama everywhere, and the leveling of seas and the cooling of the polar ice-caps when he needs it. Or their warming, as need be. Obama's rainbows make it easy for me to practice the Om Mane Padme Hum of Obama-Life and chant quietly, "See, Say Pwethay!"

Above that, there is the rational feminine pulchritude and the response of women at Obama's rallies and speeches, who logically insist that their hearts go pitty-pat and their thighs tingle. Its a level-headed, passionate and unrehearsed reaction to Obama's Plans for Hopeful Change. Hopeful women hear his plans and then realize they must change, their knickers and all, twisted or knot!

Better than that is Obama's effect on the sharp, hard-boiled reporters of our nations media. They grin and blush and ask Obama questions that Obama can answer without taking his eyes from the teleprompter! This is amazing! These brave, level-headed men and women KNOW HOW TO ASK the tough questions Americans need to make an informed decision, and by golly, those journalists and reporters KNOW the questions that need asking! And if they ask, Obama shifts gears and reminds them that 'we can CHANGE!' The reporters KNOW to avoid asking questions that might reflect poorly on Obama's principles, his vision or his cognitive ability. We must be Perfectly Clear, hey?

Further up the list is Obama's outreach to America in words such as 'never', 'the worst' and 'the most'... He has a knack for verbal spin, each little phrase a gyroscope toddling along a thread of not-really-Marxist better-than-Marxist social justice, which Obama and Michelle will impose on us for our own good, all ten years of his presidency. Or nine, whatever, but I never need to doubt that Obama is the one to 'fix' these 'worst' problems, Obama is the one Hillary's waiting for in Denver.

Just below middle on this list of attributes and characteristics that make Obama a force to be reckoned with is his ability to spend 20 years in a racist, 'black' theology church with an obviously hateful, bitter white man pretending to be black while he shouts 'God DAMN America!' and yet Obama WAS NOT INFLUENCED even a little bit. Honest. And Obama's life-long, unreconstructed bomb-using anti-American friends? Wow, what a guy! He supports ACORN without being a nut!

Just above middle in my list of things I'm trying to support in Obama is Michelle, his wife. Golly, she is a real piece of stuff, isn't she?

“Barack Obama will require you to work. He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your divisions. That you come out of your isolation, that you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed.”

I mean, there it is, right? Michelle has figured it all out, seen that all of us are 'uninformed, uninvolved'; she saw right through 280 million American adults' hypocritical denial and phony productivity and self-reliant personal responsibility and she's going to be sure Obama DEMANDS and REQUIRES us to get with his program! Or else!

A few positions from the GREATEST THING about Obama on my list, is Obama's assurance and virtual assumption of the American presidency already! Holy mackerel, Obama is practicing positive imaging, and he uses that fake 'presidential seal' and Obama's dismissive non-pledge of allegiance and revisionist change of American protocol even BEFORE being elected, that lets him NOT place his hand on his heart and NOT recite the Pledge, because 'everyone KNOWS' Obama is a good citizen, and can change America hopefully, even when lesser creatures sneer that 'Change and Hope is NOT a plan!'

Near the top of this list is Obama's removal of the American flag, Old Glory, from the tail of his campaign airplane! Hey, that is DECISIVE, and classy! Better than Old Glory is the Big Red O, now on the tail. Let the 'Story of O' begin! Obama is bigger and MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than America, can't you SEE?

Just below the number one position on this list of Obama's good points is his refusal to waste time visiting American troops in Germany. That is just, well, words fail me when I try to find descriptions of how much this should rock America's complacency! Obama didn't want to frustrate or upset those wounded troops by telling them of his "End the War in Iraq No Matter What!" plan to withdraw troops on a timetable known to all the world. Obama knows that some of those small-minded losers who enlisted because they had no other options would probably have knee-jerk reactions against such a bold appeasement, so he decisively avoided the whole problem. Obama will continue in this strong, bold manner in his role as Commander-in-Chief-Executive.

And the number one positive attribute is Obama's ability to speak the foreign language of the Muslims, taqqiyeh, the forked-tongue language noted by Native Americans as 'politician-speak'. Other politicians speak evasively on things like national security, top secrets and critical national defense, but Obama has the demonstrated ability to lie convincingly about, well, nearly everything.

These are Obama's good points. I'm studying ways to let everyone I know hear of these. America should KNOW before making that November Decision, eh?